The Dynamic Duo

The time has come to respond to the laughable, often nonsensical charges of “The Cook” of the humorously titled “Cerebral Soup.”

Not to completely deride the author, she is obviously an avid reader, appropriating references I made over a year ago to Johnny looking like the owner of a junkyard in Louisiana. I also agree with her hatred of the dancing monkey in Johnny’s zoo, but her imagining the monkey assaulting her falls in line with her imaginings of Johnny trying to pick her up on MSN Messenger. I’ll get into that later. Her assessment of our side menu book lists not being updated often are also on the mark. I have finished a lot of the books on my list, and I’m sure Johnny has too. we prefer to focus on the high-quality material that we do churn out on a regular basis. I was tempted to go with Johnny’s idea of using her rant as a suggestion from a reader and sign it by someone interesting, but I’m sure that would just get her more riled up.

Particularly ironic were her claims of me being illiterate in one sentence, and then “insulting” me by calling me a philanderer and a philanthropist, obviously too enamored with the alliteration (She’ll have to look that one up) to bother finding out what the word means. Also entertaining was her main charge: a protest of my use, in jest, of a number of search terms listed prominently in on of her own posts, not in her site statistics. Any of you who have had the pleasure of witnessing Panty Mania, know that The Cook’s charge was more ironic than the pot calling the kettle black.

Let me quickly address the Neighborhood Project accusations before I move on to the topic you’ve all been waiting for: charges of Johnny picking up internet girlfriends in MSN Messenger. The Neighborhood Project is a very good way of driving traffic to the site, but it is definitely not without effort on my part. I guess The Cook assumes that I put out a request for pictures and they fly in and attach themselves to our site. Let me assure you that they do not.

You may have noticed that I have not complained about the charges of philanderer. I mean when the ladies want you it isn’t nice to deny them is it? Johnny holds the same philosophy on this issue including our exception of extending it online. We don’t believe in picking up girls online (unless they tell us they’re really hot of course). I happened to be involved in the MSN Messenger chat in question, and the only reference I remember Johnny making to an online relationship with The Cook was that she could NOT be his fake Internet girlfriend. Of course we all have our fantasies, and obviously The Cook is no exception. With a pair as irresistible as we are, it really comes as no surprise.

It’s time to wrap this up, but I would like to summarize with four messages for The Cook at “Cerebral Soup”:

1. We know you are, but what are we?
2. we are rubber, you are glue, it bounces off of us and sticks to you
3. Neener neener neener
   -and last but not least-
   
4. Our Dad could beat up your Dad!

Thank you for sticking around through all of this dear reader, I’m glad we could clear this up.