Waterfalls of Information

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003

   Occasionally I get printed material, purportedly of a serious and informative nature that just strikes me as extremely funny. Usually it’s the manner in which it is presented; assuming the audience, it seems, to possess the I.Q. of a turnip. Or, perhaps it the unusual usage of a word or phrase. A prime example of this is the instruction manuals included with many technology products, which appear to have translated into English by one who is not altogether familiar with the language. The booklet included with my monitor, for instance, informed me that certain functions could take place when light was “blinkering.”
Today we are going to discuss a memo directed to the manager of the bank for which I work. It was from the company that issues the Traveler’s Cheques we have available for purchase by our customers. As the person in charge of such transactions, the memo was given to me. It’s main purport was to remind us that we MUST charge fees for certain sales, while other types were discretionary. See if you can fathom the included Settlement Flow :
1) Sell the cheques
2) Collect CF2 value and/or GC value plus Amex fee plus Seller fees
3) Remit to AE CF2 value and/or GC value plus Amex fee
4) Retain Revenue Seller Fees

   Simple, right? But this is my favorite instruction: “Please cascade these procedures to all personnel who handle sales.” Cascade? When I think of cascade, I picture a wide waterfall rapidly flowing over a precipice. (I also think of a particular brand of dishwasher detergent that gets your dishes sparkling clean with no water spots). What I DON’T think of is distribution of information. With a little effort, I can picture reams of printed material dropping from the sky into the very hands of those with the need to know.
Perhaps I am making too big a deal over this, but I love words, and am amused by this unconventional phrasing. I think I would have been tempted to, instead, ask to have those procedures “passed along” to the appropriate persons. But that wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun. Or Colorful. Or Picturesque.
And by the way, feel free to cascade this post to all of your family and friends.
As Ever,
UltraMom

By UltraMom at 02:49 AM Link to this post here!
2 comment s


  • on July 23rd, 2003 01:47 PM UltraBob said:

    Doesn’t strike me as odd at all, but then again I work on the web, and use CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) all the time.

    UltraBob

  • on July 24th, 2003 05:39 AM UltraMom said:

    Okay, but I don’t work on the web, and it sounded funny to me. Though probably most of our readers are with you. I’m going to try to work the word (as a verb) into my every day vocabulary.
    UltraMom