The Dynamic Duo

Hello boys and girls. So you want to be a grownup? First, you need to learn some grownup words and concepts. The grownup word for today is “wait.”
But I know all about that, you say. I have to wait for everything! Wait for my milk and cookies; wait for my favorite TV program; wait for Mom to take me to the swimming pool. When I am a grownup, I will do what I want when I want…NO MORE WAITING!
Oh, little Grasshopper, you are still such a child. Listen and learn.
Today we are going to cover some of the more common aspects of grownup waiting, all of which were experienced by UltraMom and Dad is a single day. There are, of course, many more, but this sampling should send you scurrying back to the playroom to wait for cartoon time.
The Department of Motor Vehicles. At the Elko county DMV there are lines for vehicle registration and for driver’s license transfer or renewal. Plan on a minimum 30 minute wait per line. In addition, when you have purchased your vehicle (ie UltraDad’s new, used pickup) in another state, you must first obtain a lengthy and confusing vehicle inspection, where you will be asked numerous questions on your particular brand of Ford F-150 of which you, and your vehicle documentation, have no idea. I asked UltraDad if he wanted me to stand in the registration line while he and the inspector (general) tried to ascertain the load capacity and existence of the pickup. “No,” he said naively, “those lines seem to move pretty quickly.” He was forced to admit, as we watched two people stand at two separate windows for 20 minutes each, that he was wrong. A man was occupying a third window, but doggedly ignored the resentful gazes of the every-lengthening line, his nose buried in paperwork. We were saved from complete mind-numbing boredom by a Boston-Terrier mix held on leash by the couple ahead of us. The dog was happily gnawing on a large stuffed toy, and according to his owners, took his toy everywhere, which made him content in any situation. I was jealous.
Our pickup registration finished, UltraDad next stood in the Driver’s License line with the intent of changing his Commercial Driver’s License to a regular one. He decided, after a 25 minute wait, and a chat with the ‘expert’ at hand, to keep his CDL for now. Apparently it is easier to keep than to obtain. Only catch? This would require him to get a Physical Examination at one of only two Doctor’s offices in town.

Your Car Dealership Repair Shop. Our next stop was at the Ford dealership for the purpose of getting a spare key made for the pickup and to obtain the secret access code. To me this sounded like it should be a relatively quick and inexpensive process. Not so. Apparently, one must run an Internet scan with the VIN number to get the code, and the spare key must be made from some rare earth metal. This required a 1 1/2 hour wait, in which I read 5-6 chapters of my new Harry Potter book and took two complete naps. UltraDad, who had forgotten his book, was not so fortunate. The bill? $89.00.

Restaurants. This waiting is not nearly as bad as the other kind, because you will be getting instant gratification at the end; food. And, oftentimes, you have a drink, buttered rolls, or chips and salsa to make your wait more tolerable.

Doctors Offices. To me, this is one of the very worst types of waiting situations. You know the wait will be long, but if you are late, you are sent to the back of the wait line. You sometimes have the added anxiety of a worrying physical ailment and of trying to remember all the questions you must be sure to ask. At this particular office, where UltraDad must obtain his Physical, appointments are not necessary. This two hour wait enabled UltraMom to read some more of her book and catch up on some personal phone calls.
If you are now thinking “That UltraMom is something of a whiner. It sounds like UltraDad had it far worse, and I don’t hear him complaining,” you are right. UltraMom is not particularly good at this grownup thing. Now, where are my milk and cookies?