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To me nothing is more of tease than an Olympics with the world winter in front of it. I mean what a rip! In the Summer Olympics we get boxing, weightlifting, running, jumping, swimming, fencing, the shotput, the discus, the hammer, the javelin, karate, wrestling, and on and on! What do we get in the Winter Olympics? Ice Dancing and skiing! I mean don't get me wrong, some of the events are interesting, such as the snowboarding and the newly re-instated skeleton (participants race down a hill face first on tiny metal sled), but overall it doesn't even compare! Admittedly the Winter Olympics has had it's moments, notably the Miracle on Ice in 1980 (the unbelievable American victory over the "unbeatable" Russian hockey team), but it hardly holds up to the overall excitement generated from the 100 meter dash alone.

To add insult to injury, these particular Olympics are happening in my own backyard and even if I desired to see them I couldn't! Not only are all the good events long sold out but even the opening ceremony, a poor substitute at best for actual competition, was far out of my reach. Tickets were sold for the low low price of $850! Now I know what you are thinking. I must be inflating my numbers, certainly THOSE tickets are the very best, there must be SOME tickets available at a lower price. I must admit that you would be right, some of the very poor seats were in fact available for $450! No thank you sir, I'd rather go to Hawaii. Can someone tell me when exactly it came to pass that the Olympics was an event only for the rich? There are other ways to get onto the Olympic grounds other than buying these pricy tickets, but they are hardly desirable alternatives. You can be a volunteer! Yes, that's right, you can pay your way the Olympics, try and find a place to sleep at night, and pay for the food you need to eat. For this effort you are treated to the OPPORTUNITY to clean up after those rich and well-connected enough to have actually bought tickets! You still don't get to actually view much (if any) competition, but gosh dang it you can say you were there!

This particular Winter Olympics has the added benifit of being held in Salt Lake City! Yes that's right the Mormon capital! You can imagine the crazy fun and hijinks that will be going on in a town where you have to be sponsored by a resident just to go out to a bar and buy a martini! (this particular statement is based on second hand information, so if any of you know for sure please give feedback).

My national pride was a little damaged when it came out that members of the Salt Lake Olympic Committee had been bribing International Olympic Committee members to choose them as the venue. Although several members were dismissed as a result of this I notice that in the end it obviously worked. So for all of you who enjoy the Winter Olympics I say," GOOD FOR YOU!" and I really mean that, I hope they are enjoyed by some less cynical than I. As for myself? Wake me in the summer.