The Dynamic Duo

I feel a little guilty about no longer being a posting machine, but I guess that’s one of those bad things about machines: they are always breaking down!
I have become a very busy girl, but it is of my own choosing, so I shouldn’t complain, though, of course, I will.
Today is Friday, and I’m looking forward to a weekend with no school, work or Weightwatchers. UltraDad is home, so no traveling to Ruby Valley. Yay!
The ‘boys’ got their haircut last Monday. They had gotten so shaggy I hardly recognized the neatly trimmed little dogs wearing black and white bandannas the groomer brought out. But they recognized me and managed to convey, through urgent licks and soulful glances how traumatic the whole experience had been as we made our way to the car for the trip back home. I don’t know if it is the haircuts, the increasingly nice weather, or being left alone so much, but Murphy and Rowdy have really been scrappy this week! They have knockdown, drag-out fights over such things as a piece of candy found on the floor. Rowdy, being smaller, usually gets the worst of it.
In “Drugs” right now we are discussing alcohol, both the physiological effects and the behavioral perspective. Having only peripheral knowledge of this substance, this is a great learning experience for me. From Randy, a 25-yr recovered alcoholic and current counselor I hear such quotes as “ First the man takes a drink and then the drink takes the man.” And “How do you know if an alcoholic is lying? His lips are moving.”
In C N A (gotta separate those letters or again my class turns into CAN) we talked about ostomies, catheters and enemas. Good stuff. Now just why am I doing this again? Actually it is interesting to learn how the whole body functions, or how it sometimes doesn’t function all that well. The body is really an amazing thing and has the ability through homeostasis to cover up a ‘multitude of sins.’
Thursday morning early, it was back to the Nursing Home. This time, Chelsea and I were assigned to “100” or the Alzheimer’s hall. Chelea is even more heavily pierced (as well as tattooed) than Tneal, including a stud in her tongue. (ouch!) She just turned 18, and has worked at the Nursing Home since last fall, though she hopes to get a job at the hospital when she graduates this course. But she definitely wants to stay in the healthcare field. Chelsa is very patient with me and helpful as she shows me how they chart each resident’s progress and limitations on the computer; such things as moods, vital signs and mobility. She also shows me the book where each resident’s food intake is charted.
I help Marijean, a Resident’s Assistant, shower Christine. As we wheel her towards the big shower room, Marijean tells me how all the residents down this hall hate their showers, though she tries not to use the word. The plaque reading “shower room” on the door has been covered up with a paper on which are drawn smiley faces and stars. And as soon as we get Christine in the room and start undressing her, she starts wailing. I know she is cold and uncomfortable, and I try to hurry, but I am inexperienced and clumsy. It is only later that I remember I should have been wearing gloves.
My next task is to help dress Eileen, who is currently on the toilet. She is one of the sweeter ones, and everyone loves her. Again I am clumsy, and cannot figure out the tabs on the ‘briefs’, as the adult-sized diapers are referred to. Eileen tries to help, but she isn’t sure either. I finally figure it out, and help Eileen into sweatpants, and a sweatshirt layered over a thermal top, as she is often cold.
We wheel her down the hall to the dining room, and I am instructed to help Beno with his breakfast. Beno (pronounced “Beano”) is from Hungary, and speaks primarily in that language, and no one can really understand him, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Beno smiles a lot and eats whatever I spoon into his mouth; scrambled eggs, watermelon, oatmeal, though he doesn’t seem to want the toast. At one point, he takes the toast and watermelon rind and wraps them in his napkin. He is able to drink by himself, and polishes off his juice, milk and pink supplement, though this all takes a considerable amount of time. Chelsea is feeding Muriel. Muriel is a good eater also, though her food is all ground up to the consistency of cream of wheat. She laughs and sometimes looks confused and says “I feel like a dummy.” When Chelsea talks to Beno and pats his face, he really perks up, and kisses her cheek.
After breakfast, a lot of the women are placed in a large circle, most in wheelchairs. It is time for Sitsersize. The leader throws a ball and has each participant in turn kick it back. This is followed by throwing beanbags, moving arms and legs. Most cooperate, though there are a few holdouts. Mary chatters through the entire thing, a marked contrast to the rest of the largely silent group. It seems she always chatters and when she doesn’t, it means there is something wrong. She doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but when asked to, sings her chicken song, in Polish. “We asked her what it meant one time,” an Aide tells me. “She said, ‘you know, its about chicken poop and stuff.’” Beno remains sitting at his breakfast table. When I ask why he is not sitsersizing, Chelsea explains that he would just get up and leave if they put him in the circle. It seems he is a ‘wanderer’ and gets a lot of exercise wandering through his hall.
Soon it is time to ‘debrief’ and hear about the other’s experiences. It sounds like most were a lot busier than Chelsea and I, but I’m not complaining.
Okay, I’m done writing, but I need an ending. I mean, how would it be if I just left it like this? I need some sort of clever ending, but it’s just not coming to me. Well, I’m just going to have to sleep on it. My brain seems to have gone to bed ahead of me. But I want to post this tonight.

(not so) clever UltraMom