Stupid Snake!
Sunday, June 15th, 2003
When I was a kid I loved to play with bugs, snakes, spiders, whatever I could get my hands on. I was fascinated with how these animals worked, and how they interacted with things. I spent countless hours crouched over anthills watching them work, and I built a giant ant farm in an aquarium. I didn’t play with snakes nearly as much because they were a lot harder to come by, and a good portion of the snakes in our area were poisonous rattlesnakes. One other reason I didn’t spend a lot of time with snakes is that my Dad would have “tanned my hide.” He hated snakes, and I couldn’t understand why someone would hate such a fascinating creature.
I still don’t understand, although I now share the same prejudice. I guess my affliction is more fear than actual hatred and I’m sure my Dad’s is too. You see when my Dad was a young man he was bitten by a rattlesnake, causing his leg to swell up and turn black. I know that sounds like nothing but fun, but apparently this was accompanied by a lot of pain and feeling extremely sick, along with that nagging fear of dying that one would have for the first day or so. I have never been bitten by a rattlesnake, but I have come extremely close, and that is the source of my current aversion.
It was a beautiful summer day and UltraMom, Johnny, my other brother Jimmy, my sister Heather, and a cousin of mine (I can’t remember which one) were playing volleyball in our yard when I was probably about 16 years old, me wearing only my sexy short denim cutoffs. Johnny, in typical fashion hit the ball way out of bounds, and in my usual role of cleaning up after Johnny’s mistakes, I went running after the ball. As I ran, something in front and too my rightt caught my eye. I casually glanced down to see what it was just as my right foot came down next to the coiled rattlesnake. I jumped out of the way, just as the snake struck where my foot had just been, and although the telling of this story hasn’t been as vivid as I wanted to make it, since that day I have had a real problem with snakes, poisonous or not.
Two days ago I was leaving the house to go workout. Next to our apartment is an old house, and directly in front of our door is a vent I guess is to keep the house from getting moist and rotten underneath although I really have no idea. Anyway when I opened the door carrying my gym bag and all psyched up to get some exercise, movement from the normally quiet vent caught my eye. As I’m sure you have guessed, what I say was a snake slithering it’s way out of the vent. After I finished kind of freaking out that a snake was living next door to me, I started noticing that the snake just kept coming and coming out of the vent with no sign of an end in site. This realization led to me kind of freaking out about a huge snake living next door.
I began taking pictures and video of this snake with my digital camera so that I would have proof of it’s existance, figuring that a snake of that size having eluded my knowledge for so long must be pretty good at not being seen. Well, I lost all motivation to workout, and instead went down to the local police station to ask them what one should do if they find a big snake (it turned out to be about 6 feet long when I could see it’s entire length) living under the house next door. I showed the picture of the snake on the screen of my digital camera, and the recognized the kind of snake that it was, but I can’t remember what they they said. Anyway, in typical “Japanese police when you are asking anything except for directions to something in the immediate vicinity” fashion, they told me that the snake was not poisonous, and thus it was ok if it bit me. I informed them that it was actually quite the opposite alright if the snake bit me, but since it was quite obvious that there was no more advice forthcoming I went home. I haven’t seen the snake again, and I have kind of come to accept him living there, but the girl is very unhappy about it. I suppose we will be calling the landlord on Monday since he not only owns our apartment, but the old house next door.
For your viewing pleasure, I have created a video from the pictures and video I took of the snake with my digital camera. I couldn’t find a nice matching background track for the mood of the film, so I used Velvet Waltz by Built To Spill, a band from my college town who have done fairly welll for themselves. This video is my first public effort at doing any kind of video editting, and I resisted the temptation to add a bunch of stupid transitions. Please be gentle, I’m under a lot of snake-related stress right now. ;p
Now without further ado, here is our feature presentation
and its broadband loving brother
Nice video, UltraBob!
As much as I as am beginning to feel weird about constantly leaving “me too” comments in your blog, I have similar experiences with snakes.
In fact, when I was just six months old, a large rattlesnake somehow managed to slither into my crib. (We were living in New Mexico at the time.) I’m sure it was just looking for a warm place to take a nap, but if I had, say, rolled over on it or something, well...I wouldn’t be writing about this story in your weblog today.
Fortunately, my father came along and noticed a fat rattlesnake in bed with his son, so he grabbed it just behind its jaws (he was really good at that--he did it all the time when snakes came around), took it outside, and threw it over a cliff. I still have the picture my mom took of him holding the snake. (For some reason, my mom also felt compelled to make a stuffed snake toy for me after that. No teddy bear for this baby, no, I get the fat plush rattlesnake. I still have that, too. Somewhere.)
Anyway, I didn’t much like snakes either. But when I was in high school (living in Berkeley, CA, at the time), I decided that it was silly to be creeped out by snakes, so I started hanging out at the East Bay Vivarium. Before long, I bought myself a ball python and forced myself to play with it for a while each day. Over time, I gradually overcame my fear and started to appreciate the benefits of keeping snakes as pets:
<ol>
<li>They’re quiet - no barking late at night, no meowing</li>
<li>They only need to be fed every couple of weeks - and mice are cheap!</li>
<li>They digest most of what they eat, so there’s not a lot of clean up involved</li>
<li>They scare the #### out of your neighbors, so no one ever bothers you</li>
<li>They’re fun to play with</li>
<li>They start small and cute, but grow really big!</li>
<li>Even if they escape, you don’t have to worry about them for a while (I once lost a snake and didn’t see it again for almost eight weeks, after which it was seen chasing the cat out of the basement)</li>
</ol>
So, to bring this long comment to an end, let me just say that snakes are cool. Better yet, almost none of the snakes in Japan are poisonous, so you can feel free to play with them.
This is a great opportunity for you, UltraBob. I recommend adopting this snake. Give it a place in your home. Make it your pet. You’ll come to love it.
P.S. I’ve got lots of snake stories, if you ever care to hear about them. Maybe sometime at Shakey’s we can compare notes.
What the hell? Was your crib outside? We generally didn’t allow rattlesnakes into our bedrooms, maybe that is an oddity of Idahoans? ;p
My first thought was that maybe this snake belongs to somebody, and it had excaped. Maybe they are just “not worrying about it.” If so, GRRRRRR! To any snake owners reading: If your snake escapes, you DO have to worry about it, because if I happen to run across it before you do, I may break my one snake &8220;Seeing a snake slithering about free in near proximity to where I live and not killing it” streak.
I feel no real compulsion to get over my fear of snakes, it is a trait that I think would generally improve one’s chances of survival. I think the idea of snakes is pretty cool, but I can do without close contact.
I think I WILL name the snake next door (anyone have any suggestions?) but I will not be adopting it. Anyway, thanks for the comment, and I’m glad you didn’t roll over as a baby onto a plump rattlesnake.
Was your crib outside?
No, but it was near the door, which I guess was open (I hear it gets hot in the desert, especially in the summertime ).
We generally didn’t allow rattlesnakes into our bedrooms, maybe that is an oddity of Idahoans?
Probably. You Idahoans are pretty weird that way.
You mean people don’t keep snakes in their bedrooms? That’s where I’ve always kept mine (except for my last one, which I kept in the home entertainment center, for obvious reasons).
I know I’m not the only one. One of my mother’s friends used to keep two giant pythons and two rattlesnakes in his bedroom.
(I’ve got another really good story about how this guy would lock small, edible creatures--like puppies or four-year-old Sakos!--in a safe when he let the big pythons out, to make sure they wouldn’t be eaten.)
I think I WILL name the snake next door (anyone have any suggestions?)
Is it a boy snake or a girl snake? I can’t suggest a name if you haven’t sexed it yet! C’mon, UltraBob, do your homework. You’ll need to pick it up to examine its underbelly to determine the sex.
...but I will not be adopting it.
Yeah, you’re right, you should start with a hatchling. That one’s probably too big to bond with you on any meaningful level.
Does it have any babies under the house next door?
I hate you!
I hate you!
Ah, there’s nothing quite like inflicting ophiophobia on your friends to bring a little cheer into an otherwise dreary Monday afternoon at the office.
Your specimen looks kind of like a Japanese ratsnake, don’t you think? If that’s what it is, you can probably find about 20 babies under that house.
You are right that is exactly what the policeman said it was, and you have prompted me to most definitely contact the landloard, and raise as much hell as necessary. If you want to save this snake Sako I recommend you get over here as quick as you can and collect it and it’s children and bundle them on home. I will not have a 6 foot long snake and her 20 babies living next door to me!
You have indeed inspired ophiophobia, as well as a profound sense of urgency.
Ah, c’mon, UltraBob - baby snakes have to live somewhere! Besides, the snakes are doing you a big favor: They keep the other pests out of the neighborhood.
And think what fun you could have thinking up names for two dozen or so snakes!
This is a real blessing in disguise, UltraBob. I hope you will give this matter a fair amount of consideration before you throw away this beautiful opportunity to cast off the evolutionary instincts that keep you living in fear.
Snakes are our friends. They’re only here to help!
Pretty snake. Play nice.
UBOB, I waited about 1/2 hour for this program to load on my slow computer, and it isn’t playing! Help me, cause I want to see the big snake!
P.s. I only vaguely remember the rattlesnake incident of which you speak. It must not have made as big an impression on me. But I DO remember that magic rattlesnake that granted you those three wishes...................
UMOM
Ok, anyone who is having trouble watching the video please try to follwing:
right click (windows) or Ctrl-click (Mac) and choose the option similar to Save link target as…
choose a place on the hard drive to save it, and watch the video after is has all downloaded to your machine.
Just be warned: you’ll never be able to appreciate other movies afer seeing this one. I outshines them by a huge degree,
UltraBob
If I had seen that snake, he would have been a dead snake. Good video. Bad Snake.
Dad
Thanks to my being a genius, that is a nature spirit, I finally figured out how to play that darned video. I had to open it as a Quick Time Application.
That is quite the snake. Dad was “enthralled”.
Ultramom
Here is some useful info for you on how to keep your new pet alive. We wouldn’t want him going off his feed, now would we?
“Japanese Rat Snakes
Elaphe climacophora
Japanese Rat Snakes are found throughout Japan as well as Kunashiri Island, Russia. Snakes from this island tend to be bright green to turquoise in color, while mainland animals are often gray, brown, or darker green. Hatchling climacophora are brown with brown markings, and they will get lighter and more colorful with each shed.
Japanese Rat Snakes are very docile and inquisitive, and average in length between 4 and 5 feet. We keep ours slightly cooler than our corn snakes, and in larger enclosures. This species has a tendency to stop eating periodically, and the fasts don’t seem to correspond with brumation or breeding time. As long as the snake has good body weight, we usually allow the snake to fast without too much concern, and continue to offer food every week. We have found that adults can often be enticed to eat after 4-6 weeks by offering live mouse fuzzies, then gradually increasing the food item back up to large mice or small rats.”
Glad to see that UltraMom seems to be backing my “Adopt the Snake(s)” initiative.
Any updates on the name(s) you’ve chosen, UltraBob? Do we know how many snakes there are under that house? Your audience wants to know!
MY vote is “Ratty Snake”.
Suggestion for name: Cagney. Even though he never acutally said that famous line…