The Dynamic Duo

I had an interesting experience this morning; a privelege and duty of being an American: JURY DUTY! I have received those summons before, but this was the first time I actually had to go so far as to show up at the courthouse. If I had to sum up my morning in a single action word it would be WAIT. Wait for all the jurors to show up (60 in all). Wait for something to HAPPEN. Watch the video telling us how the judicial system works and how lucky we are to be chosen, and then wait some more. Then the judge gave us a little talk and the court clerk produced a box (looked like a cigar box, but who knows) and started drawing out names. 32 lucky people would be in the jury pool. It seems to me that the process would have gone a lot more smoothly if the box had only contained the names of jurors who were actually sitting in the courtroom. Every other name drawn was of a juror who had already been excused or one who (we presume) would be in BIG trouble for simply not showing up. Finally we got to the good part: the magical questions that if answered correctly get you out of the courtroom and back to your life. Finisia, a local character, was the first to be excused. Finisia drives about town in a horsedrawn wagon wearing long skirts and a cowboy style hat. Her “letters to the editor” are locally famous. I can hardly ever make any sense of them; they seem to be tirades against anything and everyone she has ever known. Finisia informed the judge that she didn’t believe in the judicial system, that she personally did not enjoy any of the constitutionally guaranteed ‘freedoms’ and was readily dismissed by the judge, much to the relief of the other jurors. Then there were the “are you related to, do you work with , do you have any previous knowledge of, have you been involved in a case such as this before, etc, etc, etc. questions. As jurors were excused, other names were drawn. Now came the biggest Wait of all; the attorneys had to narrow that group down to 12, and took turns writing down names for elimination. I think they took about 5-10 minutes per name. Seriously. The most exciting part came when one of the jurors (a MALE juror, no less) asked the judge for a bathroom break. As usual, the line to the women’s was a mile long, while the men just skipped right in and out. UltraMom and a few others crossed the gender line and used the empty loo.
In conclusion, UM never heard her name called out, and was excused after a mere 3 hours. For the record, UB, Uncle Bill was there, and was even part of the hallowed 32, but was excused by one of the attorneys. Probably by the Defense. He is fairly physically imposing, and spent the whole morning scowling.
Actually, in other circumstances I wouldn’t mind being part of a jury trial. I think it could be interesting. But this was a child molestation case. I’m afraid impartiality would have been a bit of a problem.
Judically yours,
UltraMom