The Dynamic Duo

I have been learning a lot about myself lately. This search for my perfect career has taken me through some rigorous personality testing, with Placement and Aptitude tests to follow.
I am, as it turns out, an INFP. For those of you unfamiliar with the Myers/Briggs personality types, that is Introverted (vs Extroverted), Intuition (vs Sensing), Feeling (vsThinking) and Perceiving (vs Judging). That, the literature is quick to explain, does not mean that I don’t use the opposing functions; merely that the dominant ones are my preferred or more natural ways of thought and action. For a person who prides herself on usually being on a fairly even emotional keel and being, generally, logical, this was a bit of a surprise. But reading through the literature, I had to admit that much of the description of this personality type hit just a little too close to home.
Here are some of the highlights:
“Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling.” That is ME to a tee!
“Driven to meet others’ needs.” Altruistic UltraMom, that’s me.
“Nurturing, supportive and encouraging.” Just ask any one of my kids….not THAT one….
“Flexible and diverse.” Go do something fun instead of laundry and housecleaning? Let me get my shoes..
“Strive for win-win situation.” Can’t STAND conflict; makes me feel uneasy and unsettled.
“Able to express themselves well.” For me, usually better in writing.

Uh, oh, now we get to the weaknesses:
“Extreme dislike of conflict.” Hey, isn’t that the same as striving for a win-win situation? Good thing, right?
“Extreme dislike of criticism.” I like to think, as I mature, that I am getting better at this. Don’t feel that you need to test me, however.
“Have difficulty scolding or punishing others.” Again, just ask my kids…not THAT one…
“Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation.” Now you see why your comments are so important to my emotional well being.
Now, this is the good one: “May have trouble with time management and organization.”
In fact this one may be my upper-middle name.

Now its not that I don’t wish to be organized and to manage my time well. My bookshelf is full of unread titles to the contrary: “The Office Clutter Cure”, “Stop Clutter From Stealing Your Life,”, “Getting Organized,”, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” “Confessions of an Organized Homemaker,” and this title that I just discovered in a duffle bag only partially unpacked from a fairly recent trip,: “How NOT to be a Messie,” And this is not counting all the self-health-help titles on coping with Diabetes, curing High Cholesterol, eating Low Fat and High Fiber, and getting more and better Exercise. The pattern is always the same. I find myself in a bookstore with a little time and, as I usually feel in need of improvement, start browsing self-help titles. A bold title catches my eye with promises of an easy fix to what is ailing me. After a few seconds of hesitation, I pull the book from the shelf and open to a few random pages. Hey, this is interesting. Its funny and helpful and I might actually read this one. I buy it. At home, I dive in and read the first few chapters with great gusto. Soon, the book is stashed under the bed, where my motto “Out of sight, out of mind” prevails. By the time the tome is rediscovered during a rare rash of under-the-bed cleaning, the mood has passed and the shiny promise of a new me has been put on hold until such time as 1) I learn how to better manage my time, or 2) I become better organized. The endless logic-loop, mobius strip of my life continues.
In retrospect, I am probably not learning new things about myself as much as discovering justification and validation for the things I, honestly, already knew.
But things could be worse. I am, after all, “Always Dreaming of New Possibilities.”

UltraMom, “The Healer”