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I have been reflecting a lot recently on how quickly a life can cease to be, and considering whether I am living the way I want to be. It seems to me that we, or at least I, tend to forget that life can be taken away so quickly with so little warning. Recently I have been presented with far too many reminders, and it has gotten me thinking. There has been the Great White concert disaster in Rhode Island, the panic in the Chicago nightclub, a couple of plane crashes, and the train disaster in Daegu, Korea (where I have some friends that I haven’t been able to check up on yet.). However the reminder that strikes closest to home is the news that a family member who has always been extremely upbeat, energetic, and seemingly healthy has a terminal illness.

If I were to depart this life right now, what kind of legacy would I leave behind? What kind of memories would my parents have of me? What about my siblings? My girlfriend? My friends? Business associates? What will I have contributed to the world? What will I have done, that makes the fact that I lived something positive?

When I consider these things, I get the ambition to really get moving, to work hard on the projects that I have in mind, to work hard to improve life in Japan, in the United States, and around the world. More than that however, I get the feeling that I should hold those people who are close to me much dearer than I do. I should spend more time staying in touch with those that I care about. I should do more to show the people that I love how I feel about them. I should let my parents know just how much I really appreciate everything that they have done for me, and that I realize that without them, I would never have been able to get where I am today. I should be trying to help them out in any way that I can.

I get the distinct feeling that if am lucky (or unlucky, I’m not sure) enough, to know that I am dying soon, and to tie up some of the loose ends in my life; that my relationships with the people close to me will seem infinitely more important than the things that I accomplished.

I have decided to try to treat people around me better than I do, and to not forget that my loved ones are much more important than anything else that is going on in my life. I shouldn’t get irritated or angry with my girlfriend when she interrupts me when I’m working or studying; I should instead consider it a joy that she is there, and a welcome break from the less important things that I need to do in life. I resolve to live life in such a way that I can look back and feel that I treated people in the way that they deserved to be treated; I just hope that I’ll remember this tomorrow. Sigh ~~~ I have such a short memory for such things.