Help! I’m Turning Into My Mother!

Saturday, November 15th, 2003

My mother was a wonderful person. She was very witty and creative. She went to college the same time as my oldest sister, and she majored in journalism and wrote for the College newspaper under the pen name of “Peg Palmer”. One day I’ll share some of her poems with you. But she had a few, ah….... shall we say….um…....little quirks. One if particular used to annoy me. She was always going on and on about never hearing from her 5 grown children, in particular my two brothers. “UltraKathy”, she would inquire, “have you heard from Dan or Dave lately?” Well, of course I hadn’t, but even if I had I couldn’t tell her that.
(Hypothetical suicidal answer: “Sure, my brothers call me every other day and tell me in great detail what is going on in their lives. You mean they don’t call you? Hmm, that’s funny.”)
My sisters and I were a bit better. I really tried. I used to make it a point to send my mom several pieces of mail a week (halo appearing) and call her every Sunday (now Angel wings), and visit as often as I could (Hallelujah Chorus). I usually sent postcards cause the postage was less and I was necessarily limited on space and didn’t have to think of as much to write (chorus abruptly halts), and I really didn’t always WANT to call, (wings look a bit bedraggled), and sometimes I kind of thought it was her own fault they didn’t call because when they did, she went on a bit about how seldom they did call (halo slipping). If she could only see me now!
I have 4 lovely, wonderful, resourceful children. One lives about 100 miles away, 2 live about 300 miles away, and one is on the other side of the world (yes, UB, I’m talking to you!). How often do you think I hear from them? Nope, not as often as that. And the problem is that when I do, I spend way too much time talking about how I never hear from them!
In particular I am speaking of the two youngest away at college in Boise. About once a week, I send e-mails trying to lay on the old guilt trip (“Please let me know what is going on in your life. You know I have no life of my own (attempted humor) so I must live vicariously through you! We are fine, but the arthritus is kind of acting up and I’ve got to go back to the doctor about my sinuses. And Dad has really been tired lately. Just drop me a line a couple of times a week. You know much it brightens my day when I have an e-mail from you in my box when I get home from work.” What response do I get? Not a thing.
So, I decided to try an experiment. This week I sent newsy, upbeat e-mails with no guilt trip and no plea for some communication. What do think was the result of this scientific experiement? yeah, still nothing, though I plan to continue for a few more days before writing them out of my will.
So, what’s the point of this post? Actually, I guess its to try to inject a little humor into a subject that, frankly, leaves me feeling a little hurt and bewildered. Well, its pretty late on a Friday night, and I’m sure I’ll feel better about the whole thing in the morning, but for now, I just want to say…....Sorry, Mom.
UltraMom

By UltraMom at 07:16 AM Link to this post here!
9 comment s


  • on November 17th, 2003 04:33 AM ultraaunt said:

    Blimey, mates, you HAVE turned into our mother.

  • on November 17th, 2003 06:56 AM ultrabob said:

    I was planning to respond to this in a seperate post, and maybe I still will, but it looks like I am not going to be able to get to it for at leasdt another day, so I’ll comment here.

    Mom, sorry I don’t stay in touch like I should.  I’m terrible about it, and really only stay in touch with johnny with any regularity (and that is because he is constantly on MSN Messenger).  I will try to do better.  I would like to call you weekly, but I don’t know a good time.

    I thought Johnny and Jimmy were doing a lot better than me, but when you are going to college you are so busy learning new things about yourself that it is really tough to be concerned with anyone else, at least that’s kind of how I remember it.

    At any rate, you are not quite turning into Gramma Wesley, her guilt trips were much much more ubiquitous and obvious than yours.  I love you Mom, and I’ll try to do better about staying in touch, but for now I need to go get some lunch.  It is 4 in the afternoon, and I haven’t had time yet.

    UltraBob (The son that you like)

  • on November 17th, 2003 01:59 PM UltraMom said:

    UltraBob, remember when I would say something that sounded like my mother, and you would say “Grandma, get out of Mom’s head!”?  I always thought that was so clever!

    I chatted with your brothers on IM the other morning, and asked them what it would take to get them to e-mail me more often. They both said “Bribery!” Johnny devised an elaborate game show that ultimately involves him getting to choose “Door #2” behind which fabulous prizes await. There was also something about voting people out of the family....it was kind of complicated.......
    Anyway, Jim actually did call me last night! It seems he locked his keys in his car and he wanted to know if I could find the spare set. Sigh. Oh well, at least we had kind of a good conversation after he got his problem resolved, and I told him he had earned one point in the momathon. Anyone else have some good ideas how this game show thing could work? I’m not above bribery if it achieves the desired results!
    Love you UltraSon.
    UM

  • on November 17th, 2003 02:10 PM UltraBob said:

    How about just telling me a good time to call that is also a reasonable time in Japan so that I can call you once a week?

  • on November 19th, 2003 02:00 AM TheCook said:

    Hi UltraMom

    Well for starters what you should be doing is taking away points - and when you get to a certain minus number you cut them out of the will, more and you disown them and so on. Kindness won’t work on these buggers, trust me. (~^)

    Sometimes when you are doing something in a place that’s new it’s easy to get wrapped up in everything happening around you and forget about keeping in contact. Especially here in Japan. Sometimes it feels like you’re living on another planet.

    Luckily you seem savvy enough about the internet so that you kids can all keep in touch with email. My immediate family still hasn’t cottoned on to the idea yet, just my Dad who sends me an email about once every two months. They are a phone-user family - but i’m never here to answer the phone…

    Even though they may not contact you often i bet you are in thoughts every day (^^)

  • on November 19th, 2003 02:58 AM UltraBob said:

    5 points from The cook for using the phrase “cottoned on”

  • on November 20th, 2003 06:01 AM UltraMom said:

    Thanks for your comments, MS. Cook! Unfortunately, the threat about cutting Johnny out of the will backfired on me. He figured out that he would inherit nothing but a lot of debt, so he’s trying to figure out how TO get cut out!

    And don’t worry about your points; Bob is NOT the boss of your points, (or your feet *[see my new post]) In fact, you are now in second place behind Heather!
    It is nice to be in their thoughts, but its even nicer to know about it! Japan often seems like another plante to me also; I’d sure like to figure out a way to visit some day.
    Now, I’d better get to bed. I have very late nights 4 days in a row this week, and I’m tired just thinking about it!

  • on November 20th, 2003 08:01 AM John said:

    Hey ultrabadspeller, is “plante” Japanese for plant or planet?  See your last comment dunderhead.  Geez what a whacko.

    -Jim McDonald

  • on November 20th, 2003 02:36 PM UltraMom said:

    Jim! I am shocked that your very first comment on the site is so negative! Just for that, I’m going to have to dock 5 points from your brother Johnny! Now, you go to your room, and consider your actions, and how others must suffer when you get on your high horse!
    Your Mother