Go UltraDad; its your Birthday!
Monday, June 11th, 2007
Today is UltraDad’s birthday. It is a momentous one because it numbers an even decade. I’ll leave you to figure out which one, but lets just say it rhymes with “chixty.”
Fortunately, UltraDad is on a 3-day break from work, because the weekend had a few surprises in store for our birthday hero. It turns out a few people think quite a lot of UltraDad and drove a good distance to help him celebrate. The whole thing was to have been a surprise, but UltraMom ended up partially spilling the beans to give the guy something to look forward to at the end of a grueling stint of work at the mine. “The boys (ie Johnny and Jim) are coming up next weekend for your birthday,” I informed him last weekend as he was preparing for night shifts, never his favorite. “Cool!” he brightened. “We’ll have to think of some fun things to do.”
What he didn’t know was that his favorite daughter Heather and Jim’s girlfriend Jessica were also going to be there, as well as his brother Bill and sister Kathy. (We were sorry that Heather’s boyfriend Heath, not able to get the time off work, couldn’t make it. We missed you, Heath.) Also showing up were sister Pat (not such a surprise, as she lives in the same town we do, but always a pleasure), and niece-in-law Çortney with 5 month old baby Wynn. UDad walked in the door Friday morning just after 8:00 to find several of his children and siblings involved in a pinochle game. I wish I had captured on film the look on his face.
Of course, he had to go to bed for a while, so we went into town to scope out some possible Birthday gifts befitting this milestone in UltraDad’s life. Thanks to UltraJimbo and UltraUncleBill who understand these things, everyone pitched in to get some accessories for his workshop saws. I did not think the huge boxes would fit into my car, but Jimbo got them wedged in the backseat. This made the ride back a little more squishy, and Jessica had to ride back on Jim’s lap. Tall, pretty Jessica has not an ounce of extra weight, so I found it hard to believe Jim’s assertions that he was being crushed.
UDad got up just after noon, and we had a great afternoon. The focal point was a cooperative barbecue with grilled hamburgers, chorizos and bratwursts accompanied by chips, macaroni salad, baked beans, watermelon, and, of course, the birthday cake. This was a delicious carrot cake with lemon frosting, made by Pat, and decorated by Jessica. M & M’s formed a large “60” on the cake top with candles around the perimeter. Some candles were left over, so those Jessica put in the cake center in the shape of a wigwam. When lit, those babies really put forth a flame, let me tell you.
A Birthday Pyre
Baby Wynn was a great source of entertainment. He is adorable with lots of wavy hair and an infectious, happy grin. He laughed with pleasure when his cute mother, Cortney blew raspberries on his tummy, underarms and chubby little cheeks, and he tolerated being held by cousins, friends and aunts, as long as mom wasn’t too far away. Another great source of fun was watching UltraDad, Bill and Jimbo try to assemble the 5-drawer tool chest. I think they finally, grudgingly, resorted to reading the instructions.
Some of us also played a little pinochle and a little Bocce Ball, at which the team combo of Jim and Jessica (dubbed “Jimica” or Jessikim” by Johnny) pretty much dominated. All in all, it was a perfect day. UltraDad avers if it can be duplicated he will turn “60” again next year.
The next day, Saturday, we were down to Jim, Johnny, Jessica and Heather. It was a beautiful day, so we decided to have a picnic in Lamoille Canyon, about an hour drive away. Jim also wanted to show Jessica the wildlife museum in Elko, so that was our first stop. They got some fun museum photos of “Jessica being eaten by the crocodile”, “Jessica being frightened by the bear,” and “Jessica with antlers.” We had brought the little boys along (you know, Murphy and Rowdy), so Johnny and I opted to take them to the nearby city park since we had already seen the museum. Noting the time, well past the noon hour, it seemed a better idea to us to picnic in the city park and then drive to the scenic canyon, so Umom left the boys in charge of Johnny and went to the nearest grocery store in search of provender to round out the already packed ham sandwiches, drinks and potato chips. It all worked out according to plan, except that UltraMom had just a tiny bit of trouble relocating the area of the park where she had left the three boys (I know, I know, hard to believe). The hungry museum goers, as it turns out, were quite happy to eat now rather than later.
The drive up Lamoille canyon is scenic, though a bit windy, but the road is good.
Lamille Canyon
At the top, there is a turnaround, but we left the car in the provided parking lot and let out to explore a little. Right now there is still a lot of snow at this high elevation, and a lot of boggy mud, created by the streams and melting snow. I think it was Johnny who threw the snowball heard round the world, and so “it was on.” UltraMom did her best to stay neutral in the Snowball Wars. Heather did for awhile, but in the end could not resist the allure of sisterly revenge. I think poor Jessica got plastered more than her fair share of times, but she was definitely fighting back. Meanwhile, Murphy and Rowdy were thoroughly happy and muddy exploring the nearby trails with the help of Heather and UltraMom. We finally loaded back into the car, a little wetter, a little dirtier and a little wearier than when we’d arrived and headed back home. On the way, Jim and Jessica read us some Trivial Pursuit questions we had brought along. We were kind of playing “boys against girls’, and if memory serves, and it generally does, the girls ended up with the most wins. As we drove, we anticipated the homemade pizza we would be having for dinner.
Johnny, UltraDad, UltraMom, UltraJimbo and Jessica
Now, UltraMom has long been famous for her homemade pizza, and sometime last year, Jim had persuaded her to share her ultrasecret-Betty-Crocker-cookbook recipe with Jessica. I’ve got to admit, the pupil has surpassed the teacher, and it now Jessica’s pizza that is legendary. We were planning to collaborate on the pizza making, but as soon as we arrived home, Heather discovered she had left her purse at the City Park. She had been walking the dogs while the rest of us loaded up the car, and I guess each thought the other had picked it up. Not good. She and UltraMom immediately headed back to the scene, while Johnny called the Police Dept to see if a good Samaritan had found the purse and turned it in. As we drove, we brainstormed and silently prayed. When I pulled into the lot near the site of our picnic, we were amazed to behold the purse, 5-6 hours later, still sitting on the picnic table, next to Heather’s drink, also left. She checked the contents, and announced $30 missing, but everything else intact. Amazing. Thank you, God.
When we arrived back home, Jessica’s Masterpiece Pizza was nearly ready and UltraMom just had time to make one of her amazing green salad creations. Pat joined us for the meal, and between the 7 of us, two large pans of pizza entirely disappeared.
Sunday morning found Jessica and UltraMom mixing up another of Jim’s favorites: Biscuits and sausage gravy. Jesssica really has that son of mine spoiled! Then a little viewing of Jim’s baby pictures, a little transporting of UDad’s birthday presents to his shop at Pat’s, a little lunch and a little packing up and the UltraKids were gone, leaving UltraMom and UltraDad to smugly reflect on their outstanding parenting skills that created such wonderful kids. The only thing that would have made the weekend more perfect still is having UltraBob and UltraGirl there too.
Oh, and also, we are exhausted. In fact, I think its time for UltraMom to get a little nap.
UltraMom
PS Just had the perfect ending and the only thing lacking from a spectacular birthday weekend: a call from our favorite son in Japan. No, I’m talking about UltraBob, Silly. Anyway, was heaven to hear his voice.
Happy Birthday, UltraDad. Sounds like you had a terrific weekend of family, food and festivities.
I had alot of fun this past weekend. I’m really glad I came down. You left out the part when Johnny started a water fight and you and I fired right back and made him run while screaming like a little girl.
Oh Jessica, you still have so much to learn about this family. Johnny pretty much always screams like a little girl. Totally not noteworthy for us.
Ah, I had forgotten about the Water Wars.
That is almost a post in itself. UltraDad purchased 4 sort of space-agey looking water pistols to station around the house. Theoretically, these would be handy and available when a) Rowdy barked frenetically and obsessively at Polly the cat or b) Murphy barked loudly and obsessively at Rowdy in an attempt to acquire the tasty, gummed up rawhide strip that Rowdy was chewing on. Receiving a gentle stream of water in the face is a proven deterrent to continued barking. In actuality, of course, the water pistols were never in the right place at right time, or if they were, the squirting would require the would be squirter getting up from a comfortable chair, by which time the barking may have resolved itself on its own. (Or at least that was the rationale behind staying ensconced in said comfortable chair, and simply yelling, which, I must admit, does no good at all).
Of course when the children arrived, the squirt guns proved irresistible, especially to Johnny. As Jessica mentioned, he started a water fight, and then hid behind doors when the going got tough. At one point he emerged to find both me and Jessica wielding guns full of ammunition. I believe that is when he ran off, drenched and shrieking like said “little girl.” When UltraMom was not personally involved in a water battle, she could be heard urging the participants to “take it outside.”
Hardy-har-har everyone. It’s callled a tactical retreat, when you are out-numbered and out-armed only a fool stays in there to face certain defeat (well a fool or a SPPAAAAARRRRRTTTTAAAAAANNNNNNN) and I am neither. As for my “girlish screams” have you ever heard of a war-cry? Designed to put fear and confusion into the hearts of my enemies, and I’d say it worked. I clearly won that battle, against Momicca.
If by “clearly won”, you mean ran away screaming and drenched and then cowardly bided time to attack when we were unaware and unarmed, then yes, by all means, claim the victory! Ah, the Spartans. You wouldn’t have seen a Spartan tactically retreating. No sir, they would have stayed, getting soaked in stoic silence until the last drop.
Johnny, your mother and I kicked your fanny. You need to come to terms with that fact even if it involves extensive counseling.