The Dynamic Duo

I know that a lot of us “dabble” in poetry, but I am privileged to be acquainted with a bona fide poet. One who has been personally invited to attend the Famous Poets Ninth Annual Poetry Convention in Orlando, Florida by none other than Lavender Aurora, the Poetry Editor. Somehow, I snagged an interview with this important man. It was quite a coup, and no easy task. So without further ado, may I present Johnny McDonald, or as we sometimes call him (behind his back) Johnny Wordsworth Longfellow.

UltraMom: Tell me a little about this Famous Poets Ninth Annual Poetry Convention.
Johnny: (In a bored, “no big deal” tone of voice) Well, it seems that my most famous poem “Depression” has been chosen to be eligible for a presentation. I will be honored as a Famous Poet for 2003 and receive the elegant Shakespeare Trophy of Excellence, and poets from all over the world will be there to cheer me on.
UltraMom: That sounds exciting. Is that all?
Johnny: No, see, it says right here in the letter: “ There’s more!” The Board of Directors has also elected to present me with The Johnny McDonald 2003 Poet of the Year Medallion! This medallion, suspended from a stylized red, white and blue ribbon, like an Olympic medal will be exclusively handcrafted for this occasion only.
UltraMom: How many people were you competing against for this Johnny McDonald 2003 Poet of the Year Medallion?
Johnny: Well, this is an international thing, so I’m sure the competition was pretty stiff.
UltraMom: (Glancing at letter) Gee, you weren’t making this up. And it looks like this is only the beginning……..
Johnny: Well, yes as you can see (quoting from letter) “Dr. Kenneth Fan, the renowned..
UltraMom,( excitedly interrupting) Wait….you don’t mean…. It’s not THE Dr. Kenneth Fan, the renowned poet laureate of China?
Johnny: (condescendingly) Funny you should ask……..yes, yes it is. We are old friends. And don’t interrupt me again if you wish this interview to continue.
UltraMom: Sorry. I just can’t believe that you know Dr. Kenneth Fan personally.
Johnny: See for yourself “Dr. Kenneth Fan, the renowned poet laureate of the Republic of China and our convention superstar has asked that you walk with him in our Famous Poets Parade! As Our Grand Marshall, he invites you to bring a poem of peace to release “on the wings of Pegasus” during our Famous Poets for Peace Balloonathon. Your poem is your message of love to the world. Hundreds of balloons will be released at once with poems tied to them, making a rainbow of poetry in the sky.” AND Dr. Fan is SO excited about my coming to the convention and walking with him in the Parade and Balloonathon that he is offering me a $100 Scholarship, PLUS $100 for any guest I bring (use enclosed coupon).
UltraMom (rapturously) Wow! I am almost speechless. Can you tell us a little about your career as a poet and this amazing poem “Depression”?
Johnny: I’ve always kind of liked poems. Except for those ones they made us read in English class all the time. Okay, I can’t really remember off hand any poems I liked, but I’m sure there were some. I also don’t remember much about my poem, except that it was really good and I sent it off to a magazine one time.
UltaMom: Well, no matter. You have always been good with words. Just out of curiosity, have you ever reached the levels of Thesaurus Rex and Super Dictionarium in the Bookworm game?
Johnny (looking confused): No. Why do you ask?
UltraMom (smugly): Oh, no reason. Let’s get back to the Balloonathon. What else is going on at the big Poets Convention?
Johnny: Oh, you know. I could win the $50,000 poetry contest. And with all her heart Lavender Aurora wants ME to win this contest! I just send in my poem, of 21 lines or less, and make sure it can be read in less than a minute. Listen to this: Ahem “As part of our Famous Poets Master Workshop you will be invited to read your contest poem aloud! Our instructor Al D’Andrea for all his eminence is as comfortable as an old shoe. When you complete your workshop, you will be awarded with the most handsome diploma you have ever seen. No calligrapher will ever pen your name so beautifully again!”
UltraMom: It all sounds just too wonderful for words. I’m sure you will make us all proud. You will be attending, I presume?
Johnny: Well, unfortunately, I have a previous commitment or two. Unless you would like to donate the $495 registration fee and spring for a round trip plane ticket to Orlando, Florida?
UltraMom: Er, Um, You had better honor your other commitments. I’m so proud of you for keeping your priorities in order. Well, look at the time.. Thanks so much, Johnny. This concludes our interview. Good day.