The Dynamic Duo

I can’t believe it! I got a 90% on my first biology test. I feel like shouting ‘Woo hoo!” but it would kind of be wasted on Murphy and Rowdy, who would probably be terrified instead of ecstatic. My instructor, Dr. David Freestrorfer has a unique way of posting grades in the class. There is a section on ‘Web Campus’ titled “My Grades”, but the good doctor maintains it is cumbersome, so he uses instead an Excel Spreadsheet. When I access ‘scores’ under ‘class content’, the spreadsheet loads up, showing scores, percentages, means and medians for the entire class. “How can he do that?” I can see you thinking. (Yes, I can see you thinking. Unsettling, isn’t it?) “Isn’t that a violation of some sort of confidentiality rules?” Of course it its, but he cleverly gets around this by using aliases! So, if you knew, for instance, that ‘acidosis’, (or ‘covalent, mole, DNA or interferon) was the pseudonym of the cute blond who always sits in the front row and asks so many questions, you would also know her grade. But if, as she should, she kept this information to herself, confidentiality managed. And that is exactly what I’m going to do. No, don’t even try……..okay, okay stop tickling, I’ll tell you. I am ‘fibroblast.’ (actually one of the cooler aliases to my way of thinking.) You wormed it out of me.
Now I’m sure you want to hear all about the test. Well, it was 50 questions, multiple choice, taken by shading in bubbles on an answer sheet with a number 2 pencil. We had the entire 1 ½ hour class period to take it; I finished in about an hour, one of the last to do so. The information covered chaps 1-3 about cell theory, molecule bonding, properties of water, energy, proteins and enzymes. I felt confident in about 70% of my answers, reasonably sure of another 10% and ‘not a clue’ with the rest (what is that, about 20% or so?) So, using my math wizard skills, my score of 90% must mean I missed 5. The high score in the class was a 92% by that show-off ‘erythrocyte.’
When I left the room, my stomach hurt and my shoulders/neck were all knotted up. I was glad Yoga class was next, and I did feel much better after an hour of calming, gentle yoga stretches. In case you are picturing UltaMom sitting with her leg up over her ear, you will need to adjust your ‘TV screen.’ Instead picture a middle aged woman modifying stretches with blanket and yoga blocks to favor her bad knee and general inflexibility, sneaking surreptitious glances at super-supple young Candace who is sitting in a legs-spread-wide position while her upper body is prone on the mat in front of her
I did study a lot for this test, probably much more than most of the kids with their young, supple brains, but the point is: I CAN do this! My brain, though softer than it used to be, is not yet entirely mush! Some small credit must be given to Jimbo whose amazing brain still remembers much of this stuff and whose clarification on Neutrons, Protons, Atomic Number and Atomic Weight is responsible for at least one right test answer, maybe two.
Okay, one small ‘dance of joy.’ Then off to cram and stress for first A & P lab test on Thursday.

UltraMom, the Biologist’s Apprentice