The Dynamic Duo

UltraMom here, still in prison. In our last episode, UltraMom was looking for a new inmate clerk to replace the much-missed Carlos, who was sent to solitary in Cedar. As you may recall, he was accused of taking part in badly beating up another inmate, but the only thing he was guilty of was being in the wrong place at the wrong time . Carlos is still “in the hole”, and I fear things are not looking good for him. As part of the prison code of conduct, “ratting” is the lowest of the low, so Carlos would never finger anyone else to save his own skin. “Ratting”, at a previous time, in fact, was the reason the unfortunate inmate received the beating in the first place.
Joe and I had been making do with the help of Jay, the property clerk, and the ever-friendly and oh-so-helpful Crash. When I returned to work after a few days off, I was hopeful the recommended prisoner Sergio would have arrived as promised, but in seems he was diverted him to another prison. That left us back at the “drawing board”. After reviewing my “kites” and getting some more input from officers and my trio of assistants I approached our Caseworker, Ms. Smith, with my selection. “We need to have interviews,” she informed me. We can have no prejudice or discrimination.” That was fine with me; and we arranged for a time the following day when the new Lietenant, Ms Smith, the current crew boss of most of the inmates and myself could get together and grill our prospects.
So, what qualities do YOU look for in a prospective employee? Several things come to mind:1) Its good if they come to the interview in clean jeans and blue button-down shirt instead of holey sweats and grungy t-shirt, 2) Not too many Notice of Charges or Yard Points (indications of disciplinary actions for misconduct), 3) Should have some time left to serve. You don’t want to train a new store clerk, only to have him skip out on you cause he got parole or was approved for a rehab-type program, 4) Better if not “fire-trained”. Most of the prisoners go out on work crews and fight fires in season, if they have been able to pass a written and physical fire cert. test. The crew bosses don’t like to lose a good fire-trained man to an incamp job, 5) Better if a bit of a loner; “friends” can exert pressure to give a little extra from the store! 6) The store job doesn’t pay all that well, so its better if they have a little outside money coming in from friends or family. 7) Honesty. Probably better to steer away from those whose crimes involved stealing or robbery.
But you probably came up with the same list. Just basic, common sense stuff, right?
I arrived the next day at the appointed time to find the prison in an uproar. It was also the day scheduled for inmate TB testing, and the nurses from Cedar were about an hour late. Lunch was happening somewhere in there, and also a couple of shipments of ordered product for the store and kitchen arrived. Interviews were postponed until later in the afternoon.
Finally we were assembled in the caseworker’s office. When Mr. Finch, the crew boss supervisor found out we were interviewing 13 candidates, he rose from his seat. “Count me out,” he said as he beat a hasty retreat. “I’m okay with anyone you pick. I’m not sitting here for 13 interviews.” Well, now there was a chair for the interviewee. I got a quick lesson on using the intercom, and we were off and running. “Gonzales to the caseworker’s office. Gonzales. And bring your I.D.” I asked most of the questions with occasional input from Ms Smith and Lt Hudson. Two of the men had decided they no longer wished to work in the store. The others assured us that they were above threats and temptations, as far as the store was concerned. Over one hour later, the Lt asked me if I had made a choice.
I put forward the name of the inmate I had originally chosen and the deed was done. “Be sure to save all your notes and applications,” Ms Smith told me. “Put them in your CYA file.” Unlike many unfamiliar acronyms bandied about the prison, this one I had heard of “Cover Your ###.” I wanted no hard feelings, so I called each candidate back and spoke to them individually in MY office (the store). It was actually kind of nice for me to become familiar with a few more faces and stories, and noone seemed to harbor a grudge at not being chosen for the elite store job.
Sean, our new store clerk is an intelligent young man of Asian/American heritage. He is learning quickly under Joe, a perfectionist and merciless taskmaster. Besides his eagerness and work ethic, Sean has one more quality I highly value: he talks to me. I have already heard much of a young life messed up by drugs and the wrong companions. I also hear how Carlos helped Sean “turn it around” once they met in prison. “I had a bad attitude,” Sean tells me. “I got into trouble and fought all the time. I got out of work any time I could. Carlos came up to me and said, ‘Hey, Man, what are you doing? Do you want to get out of here, or what?’ Carlos kept to himself mostly, but everyone respected him and noone messed with him. I didn’t have anything when I first got here, and he gave me stuff out of his own pocket and showed me the right way to act. Carlos was like a mentor to me.” Sean now has obtained his high school diploma with very high marks, and admits to being a “bit of a nerd” cause he loves to read. I have him on a one month probationary period, but I have a feeling he will work out.
When I get to work today, there is a memo in my box. It is from Lt Hudson. From now on, it seems, inmate hiring will follow a different procedure. In the interests of not wasting valuable time, the prospective boss needing new help will screen the candidates him or herself, narrowing the field down to 3-4 likely ones. The “committee” will then interview only those few. Wonder where THAT came from?

UltraMom the boss