The Dynamic Duo

Another wedding under my belt, and I’m sure you are dying to hear all about it. I am talking, of course, about the wedding of my favorite little sister, Panther, to a mysterious man whom she met only about half a year ago………….lets just call him “John.” (since that is, after all, his name) Panther and “John” were set up, by a mutual friend, on a blind date that ended up lasting 6 hours. “He was so nice,” she gushed on the phone a day later, “but I just don’t think I’m that attracted to him.” By the time I spoke to her again, a couple of days later, the attraction had definitely kicked in.
I heard a lot about him in the months to follow, but we were not actually able to meet until late November when he and his charming daughter Kelly took Heather and me out to dinner at a Boise restaurant prior to our next-day flight to Japan. As you already know (if you are as avid a reader of my Japan posts as you ought to be), he passed all tests with flying colors.
At first, the wedding was going to be a casual little affair. “Keep your calendar clear for President’s Day weekend, Cougar, old bean,” Panther mentioned offhandedly sometime in early December. “I am getting married that weekend.” But as time progressed, so did the size and scope of these upcoming nuptials. After all, they were both long-time residents of the Boise-Emmett area and had many friends and relatives. And John’s sisters Donna and Karen had a lot of experience catering and planning weddings. John, as a matter of form, invited several people who lived quite a distance away, whom he was sure wouldn’t attend. He was wrong.
Panther had arranged for me to stay with some very good mutual friends: Marc and Barb. They were her good friends first, but were now mine also through many shared outings, barbecues and volleyball games on Panther’s lawn. Brother Dave and wife Jane would be staying with Balloon-Rabbit Nancy, another good friend. ( Panther has a number of “Nancys” in her life, so we distinguish them with modifiers. This Nancy happens to like rabbits in her decor, and has been involved with balloon launches in the past at the Boise River Festival). Brother, Dan & Mary from New Jersey, and sister Francie and Neil from Calif weren’t able to come.
On Friday morning, as seems to be my way, I didn’t pack for the trip until that morning, and then I overpacked, trying to plan for every contingency of weather, occasion and whim. But I don’t want you to think that I never plan ahead. My car was gassed up & ready to go; I had three books on CD from the library: one classic, one mystery and one scary thriller; and my cooler was full of snacks for the drive.
I am somewhat directionally challenged, but Barb had sent me excellent directions, via e-mail, for finding her home. When I arrived, I was warmly welcomed and shown upstairs to the “Dragon Room”, a cozy little place with a comfy, fouton bed and a large green, flame-shooting dragon painted on one wall. The dragon, it seems, came with the house. Probably a great selling point.
There was a family dinner planned that evening at John’s sister Donna’s Boise home. It was clear across town, so I was happy to be able to hitch a ride with brother Dave, wife, Jane and daughter Linda, who is a Junior at Alberstons College in Caldwell, Idaho, only a short drive away. Dave and Jane live in Placerville, CA, but had already been in town a few days to spend extra time with Linda.
Arriving at Donna’s, we met a plethora of relatives, including several toddlers. It was a noisy, casual and delicious dinner and everyone had a great time visiting, esp when the bride-to-be finally arrived, glowing from an afternoon of shopping. Several very special gifts were presented to the happy couple. John’s brother David handed over a large basket, the handle wrapped with purple ribbon. In the basket were sprigs of lavender and lots of beautiful hard-cover books on lavender plants and Provence, France. Somehere he had heard that the bride had a “thing” for lavender! John’s mother presented a very special and lovely quilt that had special meaning and significance for the whole family. I was beginning to get the warm, fuzzy feeling that Panther was marrying into a very nice family.
The next day, Saturday, Barb made a wonderful hash-brown cheesy casserole for breakfast, which I enjoyed immensely. Mark did his best to convince me that I wanted to go to the Hot-Rod Shop with him to get some more chrome for the pickup he and son, Ben were working on in the garage, but, to be perfectly honest, that type of thing has zero appeal for me. Barb had to go over to a friend’s to work on the salad they were jointly making for the Sunday wedding festivities, so I got to have a nice visit with Ben before heading out for Emmett to spend the day helping Panther. Ben, a very cute and personable high school sophomore, has long been part of a karate group headed up by a strong Christian karate master. Sometimes, they put on shows at local high schools or churches, and Ben had been part of the show the night before. He was pumped up because, for the first time, he had bent a metal rod in half. He demonstrated the technique for me, sans metal bar. “You start by placing a towel on your neck or shoulders and start bending the bar around that. Then you place the bar against your chest (sternum) and bend it in.” Wow. I was impressed. Other feats of strength performed are tearing phone books in half, breaking bricks and rolling up Teflon frying pans. These acts are interspersed with Christian testimony. I imagine it is quite effective.
When I am nearly to Panther’s house, she calls me on my cell phone. “Cougar, where are you?” she demands. It seems she has gone to breakfast with her children, who then went into Boise to run errands, and she is now walking back home. I pick her up on the way, a rosy-cheeked hitch-hiker, and soon we are continuing her project of tying large bows of lavender and white to fence posts lining her drive. This evening, she is having a big spaghetti feed at her house for relatives and for those helping with the wedding, but she has planned ahead and her famous spaghetti sauce is in the freezer and needs only a few hours warming up in the crockpot to make our mouths water. Cookies have been made ahead for dessert, and that leaves only garlic bread and salad, easily handled by Jane and Linda. But for now, there is work to do. Debi decides to clean off her pool cover, which is covered by an off-season accumulation of dirt and debris. I help her as she pressure-sprays water on to loosen the mess; then removes it with a suction pump and hose. As each section is cleaned the pool cover is rolled up a bit more. After a while, the project is mine while Panther works on other tasks. Meanwhile, John and his brothers are erecting a large, maybe 100-yard square, rented tent. The instructions consist of a diagram of colored poles, which seem less than useful to me. But the guys figure it out, and sweat is soon rolling off them as they pound metal stakes and raise the tent poles. Rented tables and chairs are set up and it looks perfect, like the unseasonably warm weather we are having.
The wedding rehearsal is set for 4:30 P.M. at the New Life Christian Church in Emmett, where Panther and her kids have been attending for years. I have been there several times, and it seems like a second church home to me. The pastor, Tim has told Panther that she needs to appoint someone to the all-important wedding job of Sergeant at Arms. She has appointed me. When I inquire into my duties, I am told that I am to be the “big, mean lady.” It will be my job to stand at the back of the church as the key participants line up and walk down the aisle. I am to keep them quiet and calm and make sure they go in at the right time. I can do this. We rehearse several times, and it suddenly occurs to me that when all of the stars have entered, to much fanfare, I will still be at the back of the church and need to somehow get to my seat in the front. I will try to scuttle in unobtrusively when everyone’s attention is on the key players, now on the stage.
Tim has two lovely and very talented daughters who have beautifully decorated the church for this occasion, and who will be singing two songs during the wedding. K.J., the young violinist who will be playing a solo, is not at the rehearsal. He is attending a funeral for a friend and former roommate who has been killed in Iraq. Marc and Barb’s oldest son, Zach, is also serving his country there. It brings the war much closer to me.
After the rehearsal, we all troop back to Panther’s house and begin feasting. Jane’s salad is excellent and unusual: salad greens, feta cheese, apple chunks, dried cranberries and almond slices. It doesn’t even need salad dressing. John’s son, Jake, has arrived from Seattle with his girlfriend, Leslie, who will be taking professional pictures of the wedding and reception. She has a large, impressive camera that actually uses film. I visit with John’s mother and am amazed to learn that she is 88 years old. If I had to guess, I would have placed her in her late 60’s. She tells me how she had 5 kids in the space of about 5 years. The youngest two are John’s twin brothers. “I quit when they started coming in pairs,” she quipped.
Barb and I leave at the same time, and I am glad, driving in the dark, to be able to follow her home.
Sunday arrives, the day of the wedding, and the weather has definitely taken a turn for the worse. The day is cloudy and cold. Panther is philosophical and unperturbed. “Our first date was on a Sunday at 2:00, so that seemed a good time to get married. The weather will be what it is, and it will be fine.” Good attitude, Sis. I am asked to show up about 10 A.M. to help John’s sisters Donna and Karen get the food ready. But first Panther has another task for me. She wants me to create a computer file with only photos of she and John. This takes a bit of time, as I look through her pictures and copy the relevant ones into the DebiandJohnWedding Folder. David, John’s brother, has taken a lot of pictures since he arrived, and he adds those to the collection. The screensaver slideshow will show scenes from John and Debi’s journey together throughout the reception. That is, it would have if the computer had been turned on, a fact that didn’t register on me until the reception was over. Oh well.
Donna and Karen have gone to an amazing amount of work to plan and execute the menu as well as set up artfully decorated tables and dishes, complete with standup cards printed with the names of the various menu items. I begin my assigned task, with the electric knife, of cutting the crusts off a dozen loaves of bread. When Karen borrows the knife to cut the egg salad sandwiches in triangles, I saunter off to the bedroom to scope out the scene in there. Panther is getting her make-up professionally done by Danielle, a good friend of Panther’s daughter Sara. Her hair has been done up in sparkly clips by Sara’s Montana friend, Julie. Danielle is also doing the makeup of Sara and John’s daughter Kelly. After I wistfully express a wish to have someone do MY makeup, Sara offers to do it. So, while her friend Julie works on her hair, Sara covers my face with foundation and powder, applies eye shadow and outlines my lips. The mascara, she tells me, I will need to apply myself. Thank you Sara. I look great!
As I drift back to the kitchen, there seem to be a lot of helpers in there now, and I quietly slip back to the bedroom to put on the same silvery-black suit I wore to the UltraKid’s wedding. And now its time for me to be at the church! I have duties.
I am concerned that the small church will not seat all of the many friends and relatives who will attend, but it ends up being just about exactly big enough. Linda and Becca, Donna’s daughter, handle the guest book. Helping usher are Kelly’s boyfriend Nick and Sara’s boyfriend Jason. I find there is really nothing for me to do until everyone is seated and its time to line up in the back of the church. Finally its time. “Knights in White Satin” starts playing through the sound system, and John’s mother enters the church, escorted by her sons, Doug and Dave. Next its John’s turn to come on in, flanked by his son, Jake and daughter. Kelly. The music stops, and K.J.’s violin solo begins. When Tim asks the spectators to rise, the bride enters through a side door and all eyes are on her as walks down the aisle, holding the arms of Sara and Michael. She looks absolutely beautiful in a strapless, short white dress, a veil on her head. I scuttle in a few moments later, and my work is done. Now I can enjoy myself.
The songs “You Say it Best When You Say Nothing At All”, and “Your Grace Still Amazes Me,” are beautifully performed while the erstwhile lovers gaze into each other’s eyes. When asked if he will “take this woman to be my lawful wedded wife”, John fervently declares, “With all my heart and soul, I do!” Soon they are man and wife, and it’s time for The Kiss.
Everyone is invited back to Panther’s house for the reception, where the guests will each be personally greeted by the happy couple. I hitch a ride with Becca, and when we arrive we find that already the yard is jammed with cars, and the nearby field is being turned into a parking lot. The line into the house winds along the sidewalk, but once inside, each guest is exuberantly greeted by John and Debi. As I enter the house, I see the groaning buffet tables laden with such delicacies as crustless egg salad and chicken salad sandwiches, dried cherry-pasta salad, broccoli salad, mango salsa and chips, brie cheese topped with caramelized onions; and this in only what I remember off the top of my head. Panther has made frosted, heart-shaped sugar cookies adorned with candy conservation hearts, and there are also bowels of mixed nuts and home-made mints. A friend of hers from the hospital has made the two-tiered wedding cake, topped with two white ceramic doves. Outside, Rhonda and Wade have set up their professional sound system and current popular tunes are setting a festive mood. Some brave souls are out there, attempting to dance, or making use of the heater set in the middle of the tented area. I am delighted to see Sara McDonald, a much-loved niece and fellow member of the Cute Feet Club. To my knowledge, we are the only members to date. Her Mom, Roz is also there, and I corner them with my Japan pictures photo album.
At one point, my brother Dave challenges me to a game of ping-pong in the basement game room, an invitation I accept with alacrity. Dave is looking terrific, having lost quite a bit of weight. He has embraced healthier eating habits, purchased a pedometer and now walks at least 10,000 steps a day. Unfortunately, even this wasn’t enough to enable him to beat me at a ping-pong match. I won the air hockey game also, and it wasn’t until we played a pinball arcade game that he finally beat me. It was lots of fun.
The request had been “No Gifts Please,” but inevitably some people brought them anyway. There were several original paintings, a handmade quilt and other lovely and useful items. Brother Dave gave them a joke gift of a toaster, but as it turns out, that is actually something they don’t have! It was rather late when I made my way back to my host family in Boise, and I’m quite proud of myself for finding their home without help, even in the dark. Barb is watching Desperate Housewives, and with her help, I am soon caught up in the fanciful, improbable plot.
I sleep quite well in my dragon lair, and wake up the next morning refreshed and ready to start the long drive back home. Panther and John are leaving today for a honeymoon on the Oregon Coast. But before I go, I treat Barb to breakfast at the Cracker Barrel where we have the most wonderful Peach Pancakes. It seems the least I can do after all the hospitality. We have a great time; what a good friend.
I am leaving early enough that I can stop and shop in Twin Falls for an hour or so with no feelings of guilt, unless you count the ones that come with spending too much. Okay, I got a bit carried away in Barnes and Noble, but I did have a $10 gift certificate from Weight Watchers, so that helped a little. I got home in time to grab the leashes and take two ecstatic poodles on a much-needed walk to sister in law Pat’s house. She then invited me out to dinner so I could tell her all about the wedding, and UltraDad’s to-go box was ready and waiting for him when he arrived home from work an hour or so later. All in all, a great wedding, a great weekend, and good roads. I would have, and will in near future, include some photos, but I left my camera at Panther’s house. Ultra-dependable sister-in-law Jane is now in possession, so I should get it in the mail any day now. Next time, back to Japan.

Your Roving Travel Editor,
UltraMom

This is a poem I included in Panther and John’s wedding card. I bought the card in Japan, and it was quite beautiful. A friend drew this arch and copied this lovely poem onto it for me, and I thought it turned out quite well!

Julie- working on the bride-to-be’s hair

I do!

The Bridesmaids: Kelly & Sara

The Best Men: Jake and Michael