A Pizza Making Lesson, of Sorts
Friday, June 15th, 2007
The other day, while I was passing some time in Elko, I got a phone call on my cell. It was Johnny. You may remember this guy as a former member of this partnership we call (for some obscure reason) the “Dynamic Duo”. I mean at the present time, we are hardly one, let alone a duo and while UltraMom posts are generally witty and entertaining, I don’t know if I would go so far as to call them “dynamic.” Anyway, Johnny was on a quest: “Mom, can you give me the recipe for your pizza crust? I’m going to try to make pizza today.”
Well, normally I would just go to the cupboard, pull down my Betty Crocker cookbook and squint at the much-used recipe, trying to read measurements through tomato sauce and dough stains, but in this scenario, I tried to go by memory. And one thing to keep in mind throughout the following tortuous conversation: although both Johnny and I have (arguably) quite a way with words, neither of us is
how shall I say it
exactly a math wiz.
UM“I think it’s 2 cups flour, 2 ts baking powder, some salt, 2/3 cup milk, and oil. The oil is either 1/4 cup or 1/2 cup.
“You THINK??!! You think isn’t good enough. Wait, I think I found another likely one online
.. 1 cup water? Yeast? No, that isn’t it, darn it
..”
UM“Well, I’m pretty sure about most of it, and you can always start with 1/4 cup oil and add more if it looks like it needs it.”
“Okay,, so 2 Teeblespoons of Powder
”
UM“No, 2 TEASPOONS of BAKING powder.”
“Okay, okay
. Hey I think I found it!~
Betty Crocker?” Reads ingredients.
UM“Yes, that’s it! So, to make two pizza crusts I usually add half again to the ingredient list to make more.”
“So
you times it by 1 1/2?”
UM“Uh
.. I just take the ingredient amount, divide it in half, and add that much on top of the original amount.”
“So, 1 1/2 times, right?”
UM“Uh,
sure.”
“So, that would be 1 1/3 cups milk
”
UM“No, it’s 1 cup milk. 2/3 plus half of 2/3 = 1”
“Oh, okay. The oil is 1/4 cup plus 2 TB. How much oil do I put in.”
UM:” I just add 1/4 cup oil and then fill the 1/4 measuring cup 1/2 full and add that. Then I add 2 TB oil and then 1 more TB oil.”
“WHAT? Are you just messing with me? Wouldn’t that be about 1/2 cup oil?”
UM (huffily)“I don’t know. I’m really telling you the way I do it. I add 1/4 cup oil and then.”
“NEVER MIND. I’ll figure it out. And what if I don’t have measuring spoons?”
UM:”Okay, you know the spoon you eat your cereal with? That’s about a teaspoon, and the big one that you eat soup with is about a tablespoon. Don’t you want me to tell you how I roll it out and do the toppings?”
“That’s okay. I’m good. I’ll let you know how it turns out.”
The report back later was that it was good, but a distant third behind Jessica and Mom’s pizza. Maybe I should write a cookbook
Mom, Jessica and Betty Crocker’s Pizza Dough Recipe
2 cups Flour
2 ts baking powder
1 ts salt
2/3 cups milk
1/4 cup plus 2 TB oil
Add ingredients. Roll out on floured counter with rolling pin until thin and approx size and shape of your baking pan. Works better if you let it rest about 10 minutes before rolling out. Sometimes I prebake the crust a little before adding ingredients and sometimes I don’t.
Oh, and for 2 large, rectangular pans, you might want to add half again the amount of ingredients, or, I guess, 1 1/2 times the recipe.
Your Gourmet Chef,
UltraMom
For my pizza, I only increase all of the ingredients by 1/3. Here is the list of toppings that I use so that all of you adoring fans know how to make the pizza the way I do.
1 lb sausage
1/2 lb bacon (cut up into little peices)
cover the whole thing with pepperoni (about 1 whole package)
mushrooms
1 small can of sliced olives
And don’t forget the cheese. I sometimes use half cheddar and half mozzerella, but you can use all cheddar.
Okay, Jessica, for those of us who are...uh...fraction challenged, what is your final pizza crust ingredients measurements? Also, I think you forgot the tomato sauce and Italian seasoning!
I also sometimes add sliced green olives cause UltraDad loves them so. And I use Turkey Pepperoni to cut calories and fat, and noone ever knows the difference. I have even been known to add red sweet peppers and onion, but now, of course, if Jimbo is going to be eating it.
Adding 1/2:
3 cups flour
3 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk
3/8 cup plus 3tbsp oil
Adding 1/3
2 2/3 cups flour
2 2/3 tsp baking powder
1 1/3 tsp salt
8/9 cups milk (call it 1 cup)
1/3 cup plus 2 2/3 tbsp oil
Disclaimer: All calculations done in my head, feel free to correct as needed.
Incidentally 2 tbsp is 1/8 US cup so the basic oil measurement is actually 3/8 cups
plus 1/2:
9/16 cups
plus 1/3:
1/2 cup
Hey!! Who said nerd?
Thanks, Poindexter. Your fraction multiplying skills are breathtaking, though a bit, I must say it, nerdy. I gotta admit, 9/16 still sounds a little intimidating to me, though I know its 1/2 plus 1/16. See, I’m not TOTALLY hopeless!