The Dynamic Duo

Current events again today, guys. Though soon I promise to go back and finish up my last couple of days of Japan blogging. But today I’m going to live a bit on the edge…on the edge of friendship that is. We’ll see how it goes.
I got a phone call from sis-in-law Pat this morning. Now she and I usually manage to go to Elko and Walmart at least once a weekend, esp when UltraDad is working, and I always have a good time with her. But today was extra special. Her sister, Kathy (also UltraDad’s sister, and my sister-in-law) was going to be in Elko. We could go hang out with her while she did her shopping.
Kathy is a lot of fun and I have known her a long time. In fact, I knew her before I knew UltraDad. We met in college and ended up being dorm-mates for a year or so before I bailed, got married, and became a farmwife. But that is a story for another day. Suffice it to say that I went, despite the fact that I am catching the cold UltraDad is now getting over. Pat and I met up with her in Walmart. We parked next to her pickup, containing, as usual, several dogs. Kathy lives on a cattle ranch and raises MinPins or Miniature Pinschers, and also has Border Collies and other cattle working dogs.
We found Kathy, as expected, in the pet section, loading up her cart with dog treats. I showed her and Pat the dog puppet I had recently got for my “boys,” and they each got one. Just to make sure they knew how they worked, I opened and closed the jaws for awhile while the puppet barked out “How Much is That Doggie in the Window”, “B I N G O” and “It’s a Small World After All.” Funny. After a few rounds of that, their expressions resembled that of UltraDad the day we bought our puppet and I performed my demonstration for him a few times. I think they were impressed.
After our various shoppings, it was time for lunch, so we went to Dos Amigos, one of my favorite Mexican Restaurants. As we were finishing our meal and calculating the tab, Pat mentioned that she needed to put gas in her car. Now I don’t know about your part of the country, but around here, gas prices are on the rise again; the highest I’ve ever seen them. Pat remembered that she had a coupon in her purse from her last shopping trip to Smith’s Food; it would entitle her to 10 cents off a gallon at Smith’s adjoining gas station. Kathy and I were amazed and impressed as Pat pulled out receipt after receipt. Finally, we were laughing and teasing her unmercifully. To tell the truth, it reminded me somewhat of my receipt retaining methods, but she had me topped. When all the receipts were sitting on the table, it reminded me of some sort of magic trick. How had they ever all fit inside her purse? But she did finally find the one she sought, and I offered to accompany her on her gas-filling journey.
We pulled into the service station, and she opened her purse to whip out that money-saving receipt, and guess what? It was missing again! As she searched , I laughed, thinking all the while that it could just as easily be me. In fact, not so long ago, it WAS me, looking for a receipt from JC Penneys so I could return some shirts. I could find every other receipt in the world but the one I needed, and the worst part was that one of the shirts still had that anti-theft thing attached to it, so I kind of looked like I had stolen it. But, luckily I have that honest UltraMom face, so was able to get a store credit for my purchases. As soon as I got home from that shopping trip and was putting away my purchases, I found that receipt sitting in the middle of my dining room table. But enough about me; this is about PAT. After 5 minutes or so, she did find the receipt again, and after filling up the car, went to the pay window to redeem her discount. I was helpfully washing her windows (hoping to make up for laughing at her) when she returned. “So, how much money did you save?” I asked.
“I didn’t,” she muttered. “It seems that I did not have my Smith’s fresh value card last time I shopped there. They used the store number to give me my store discount, but when they do that, the gas coupon doesn’t work.” This was too much. “This sounds like a story for my blog,” I offered generously. But instead of gratitude for offering her fame and readership, I got threats of ending our friendship. Of course I didn’t believe her, and thought it would be fun to just test it out a little bit.
Yes, you are right. UltraMom is one of those people who make themselves feel better by concentrating on the foibles of those around her.
So, thanks Pat. And we are still friends, right? I said right? Pat?

UltraMom, friend of the people