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Dear Linc,
Today you turn two years old. They have been very eventful years for you, and for your Mommy and I. They’ve also been, unequivocally, the best of my life so far. I feel safe in saying they have been the best of yours too, but I expect you’ll have far better ones. It has been astounding to watch you go from being unable to lift your own head or roll over to being commander of the entire household. Perhaps you don’t use that many words; and yes, you do call me Mommy, but it is pretty clear who you are talking to and what the command is when you pull me into the kitchen by the leg and point at the animal crackers or Cheerios.
I love watching you develop, and while there are constants (e.g. your love of cars and Anpanman), every day your interests shift and you pick up a few more skills. Just in the past couple of days you’ve picked up the words seven, eight and nine and you seem to recognize written numbers when you see them. You’ve become much more adventurous on the playground, climbing up and over everything in reach, even climbing unassisted (heedless of the nervous hands ready to catch you should you slip) to the top of a set of monkey bars I would have never predicted you would even attempt.
I’m not surprised that you can point out police cars, ambulances, and fire trucks on demand, but it astonishes me when I see you continue without hesitation when asked to identify individual car makes, and any of about 30 different characters from Anpanman.
Even as a newborn baby you were extraordinarily even-tempered and easy to deal with. I have never encountered a baby who cried less, and while you have adopted tears as a method of asserting your independence lately, your overwhelming cheerfulness makes me a better person just for being around you.
I could go on all day pointing out your accomplishments and the characteristics that make you delightful to be around, but none of this gets us any closer to an understanding of what makes you so special. That is beyond my linguistic capabilities so I’ll have to leave the inexpressible unexpressed.
I’m writing this letter to leave you with some observations that I hope will help you make the best of the endless potential ahead of you.
I have no regrets. Every decision I have made in my life has led to this point, and I love where I am right now. That being said, had I taken the insights below to heart, in high school and college particularly, I would have made more confident choices in the moment and been much less stressed out about almost everything. So here is my advice for you this year. Who knows, maybe I’ll turn this into a yearly tradition.
Love,
Daddy
Last Sunday was a beautiful day, and we went for a bike ride down to Kamakura beach. This was Linc’s very first bike riding experience, and of course he is still too small to peddle so he had his dad do that part. All Linc did was just to sit in this green child seat for bike called iBert we got last week. In spite of the advantage of being too small for peddling, Linc refused to sit in the seat at first. UltraBob had to struggle through the massive tantrum Linc threw; trying to have Linc just sit in the seat and get the safety belt adjusted. After managing to put him in the seat (we don’t remember how we succeeded with that!), we rode around the park near our house to make him comfortable in the seat without a helmet. We know it is the law that children must wear a helmet but Linc just tried to throw it off his head every time UB put it on. We kinda expected this might happen, especially since Linc does not like wearing any kind of hat/cap. After a while, UB asked me to talk to Linc about the helmet. We pulled over and I looked in Linc’s eyes and said something like “Linc, I am sorry to tell you this, but you have to wear a helmet when you go biking with Mommy and Daddy. I know you don’t like it but we all will be in trouble if you don’t do it. I think you are smart enough to understand this”. And I just kept telling him he is a good boy. Then UB softly put the helmet on his little head and … no reaction!! No throwing off the helmet, kicking Daddy’s bike, or anything. Linc just understood what I said and accepted it. We told him thank you and took off to Kamakura. It was good exercise to bike, and it seemed like Linc enjoyed riding as well. The beach was beautiful and we enjoyed walking on the sand. We plan to go for bike rides as much as the weather (and Linc) cooperate!!
Tantrum
Got settled
Got to the beach
Running on the sand is fun!
That car seen in the first picture was hurled to the ground in anger as soon as we pushed off to begin our warm up laps of the park near our house. Boy has a temper like his mother!
Can UGirl come reason with Rowan? It looks like great, great fun.
I’m really interested in the IBert. I’ve never seen a product like that before. I don’t think our bikes allow for a child seat mounted in the back so this may be a solution for taking Rowan on bike rides. Did you hit your legs on the seat?
We both have mountain bikes, and it was hard to find a seat for our bikes. We did find two solutions for the back, and iBert for the front. The ones in the back, seemed a bit involved, and while I’m sure they were fine, the methods for mounting them seemed a smidgen iffy to me. That combined with it being nicer to have Linc in front of me, and the way the seat is positioned meaning it doesn’t throw off your balance like a seat on the back might, made the iBert a good choice for us especially since it was cheaper than the others.
My knees went naturally up by the sides of the iBert, and I had no difficulty there. Linc sometimes rested his arms on my knees but that wasn’t a problem either. I don’t think I would wear my mini skirt while riding with the iBert attached though unless I was feeling particularly daring.
The iBert we got appeared to have had a simple mod added by the Japanese retailer that I think was a large improvement. The English language manual said that the seat would be a bit wobbly and that was ok. The Japanese included a note that said customers have complained to us that the seats are wobbly so we’ve added a tightening screw to hold it together. The tightening screw works great, and would probably be a somewhat trivial mod to make oneself given the proper tools. That being said, if you were planning to take the seat on and off a lot, the tightening screw would just get in the way.
I’m sure Tomoko would be happy to point out the back mounting solutions too if you’d like to know about them.
Oh, and you have a deal, send the plane ticket, provide room, board, and a small stipend for Tomoko and her supervisor Linc; and Tomoko would be more than happy to come reason with Rowan around the time of Heather’s wedding.
That is so cool that you were able to reason with Linc and he accepted it! What a smart little boy:) I know my poodles LOVE riding in their basket on front of my bike. They hardly ever try to jump out any more since the time Rowdy nearly hanged himself. You will have lots of fun being able to take him on bike rides to the beach. Great post, UltraGirl! THanks for keeping us up to date.
Great post!!! That looks like a lot of fun. I also think it is very cool that Linc was smart and listened to you after you told him the situation.
For several reasons I find myself wide awake at 1:43 AM, and this is what I think: might as well get up and write a long overdue post! I used to count myself fortunate that, though I often got to bed late, when I DID get there, I slept like a top, or like a charm, or like a person that slept well. Maybe the age-thing is starting to catch up with me. Or maybe it’s because just when I start to doze off, one poodle or another suddenly needs to go out. And when I get back to bed, pointless movies play round in my head. You know the ones that remind me how very much I should have gotten done today and how very much I HAVE to get done tomorrow. The ones that say ‘Are you really sure about this nursing thing? I mean you’re doing okay, but do you really think you’re going to like working at it day in and day out?’ And of course the ‘what if’ movies, concerning my life, and the lives of those I love. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my sister and all she’s going through and how very remarkable she is and if there’s anything I can do to make it easier.
Tomorrow is Easter, and I will celebrate it by going to church and having dinner with UltraDad and Pat, followed by an afternoon of studying. With some nostalgia I remember Easters past: coloring eggs and hiding them for excited children to find. Filling cleaned & saved margerine tubs with cellophane grass, colorful candy, pinwheels and bottles of bubbles. Preparing a turkey or ham for a big family gathering later in the day. Turning plain round cake layers into a cake shaped like a rabbit to amaze and astound gullible children who at least pretended to believe this transformation had been accomplished by the Easter Bunny. Getting up early to attend the annual Easter Breakfast put on by the teens of our church; many years my kids were involved, which meant I had to get up early to make sure they got up early! Then there was usually an Easter Program at church, again involving the kids, and the Easter Service with the story of the Resurrection and all the familiar Easter hymns.
But as they say, the only certain thing in life is change. At times it seemed as though I would forever be cooking large meals and arbitrating fights. Now it seems as I will be forever missing my kids(and grandkid), worrying about UltraDad and trying to juggle work, school and time for me. But I know that this too will come to an end and I will enter a new phase of life. Hopefully one where I am able to sleep!
I too miss the Easters at home. I’m sure you will be a great nurse. Happy Easter everybody!
I had nights like that before; the ‘what if’ movie went on and on in my head till morning. But I remember most of the times the reality was better than what was written in the movie.
Thanks Heather. And Thanks UltraGirl. It’s true that usually the bad things we worry about happening aren’t nearly so bad once they actually happen! For some reason, I’m really tired today!
And we ended up just having dinner at home cause Pat is really sick, just in time for HER week of Spring Break! Now I’m spending the afternoon working on homework and wishing I was somewhere else:)
I like UltraGirl’s philosophy! I hope you had a nice Easter even if not as carefree as one might like.
A great philosopher once said, “If you’re feeling kind of blue, and you don’t know what to do, just grab a board and surf down a hump of snow.”
I think that part may apply to you. In the interest of completeness, the rest of the mantra was, “If you’re feeling kind of green, and you don’t know what to bean, just grab a board and surf down a hump of grass.”
I read this just now for the first time. Very nice letter and very good advice, Daddy! Linc is lucky to have you too!
Wow. This makes me want to cry. My little boy is a daddy giving advice to his own son, and it is very good advice. Maybe I should embrace some of it for myself. Happy Birthday little boy. I love you, your mommy and your daddy more than you can imagine.
Can you still say Wammaw when you see my picture?
Beautiful letter. Happy Birthday Linc! So much fun ahead in the 3rd year of your life!
Happy birthday to my favorite nephew!!
What an awesome letter. You are such a good Daddy.
I do notice though that you are getting in all this advice before he can talk back. There may be some wisdom in this.
That was really beautiful! I remember how great you always were with Micheal from when he was little on up! I loved watching an amazing father in action last summer! I am so proud of you. Your little boy is beautiful. Who is this guy he knows so well?
Happy late Birthday Linc!!! Very nice letter Bob. Thanks for sharing it. I miss you guys and hope Linc knows who his very favorite aunt Heather and Uncle Heath are:)