I have a riddle for you. Here are some clues:” I am adorable”. No, UltraBob, its not Beaker. “I have black eyes and when I run, My ears kind of fly out, like bat ears.” No, UltraBob, still not Beaker. “I am furry, cuddly, but do not shed.” NO, ITS NOT BEAKER! “I weigh 3 lbs and my brother is already a much loved member of this household.” No, UBob, it is not Jim. You are a really bad guesser. Give up? Its Rowdy, our new 5 month old toy poodle puppy! The much loved brother is, of course, Murphy, who has the same birth parents…...........as well as the same adoptive parents, come to think of it. As of today, Murphy and Rowdy have something else in common. They have both made the rite-of-passage journey to the vet to be “tutored.”
We weren’t really looking for another dog, but this little guy “had me at hello.” As I occasionally watched him for my sis-in-law, Pat, I observed more than once that if anybody could tempt me to have another pet, it was this fellow. Though the runt of the 3-puppy litter, Stetson, (for such was his name before I “rescued” him) was fiesty and playful. And he was just so darn cute with those black sparkling eyes and the quirky ears that tended to cock upwards. When I offhandedly mentioned this to UDad, however, I got no encouragement, so I didn’t pursue it. After all, we already had the perfect dog, and Murphy never complained about being an only child.
Time went by, and Pat sold the girl puppy, Lily. Stetson’s much larger brother, Boots (aka Oliver) went to the excellent home of some dear friends of mine in Idaho. Pat had already decided to keep Maverick, a small “silver” poodle pup from a different litter. He would be one of her new stud dogs since his dad, Rocky was no longer “with us.” Perhaps, she mused, she should keep Stetson as a stud too. She gradually came to see this as a bad idea as Maverick and Stetson got into fight after fight. They were just about the same size and seemed well matched in ninja fighting skills, and the fights usually lasted til someone broke them up. It was plain she could not keep them both if she didn’t wat to come home someday to a badly injured, if not dead, puppy, so she made me a very generous offer. “You can have Stetson if you want him. Otherwise I have to get really serious about selling him.” And she had just paid for his rabies shot. Sweet.
Udad was there, so I asked his opinion. “I don’t care,” he offered helpfully. “Do what you want.” And that was how Stetson, rechristened by UltraDad as “Rowdy” came to live in our household.
When we first brought him home to stay, Murphy didn’t seem to quite understand. “This has been fun, ” he seemed to be saying, “but don’t you think its time to take him back now?” Everytime Rowdy picked up a toy, Murphy rushed over to take it away from him. When Rowdy went to the food dish, Murphy ran snarling in and began eating as if he hadn’t seen dry dog food nuggets for a month.
When Rowdy slept next to me on my bed, Murphy had to be just a little closer. But Murph did seem to enjoy the chasing and wrestling.
Rowdy, for his part, likes to follow Murphy around and snuggle up next to him, if permitted. And he doesn’t always tolerate Murphy’s preemptive behaviour. More than once I have seen him rush in barking with a sudden snarl and snatch away the chew bone that Murphy had temporarily released in astonishment.
Walks have become more challenging holding two leashes, while two little apricot poodles indulge in a maypole-type dance, weaving the leashes around and through my legs. About a week ago, I decided to see how Rowdy would behave riding in my bicycle basket. I decided to put him in there with Murphy, who was a bicycle-basket-riding veteran to allay his fears. Rowdy sat there like an old pro while Murphy jumped about whining and squishing Rowdy into the corner. Without Murphy, he was even better. Johnny recently told me these stories kind of sound like “Goofus and Gallant” of Highlights for Children fame. He says spoiled rotten Murphy had a pretty good thing going until perfect little Rowdy came along and ruined everything. I’m sure I don’t know what he is talking aboot, eh?
In the trick department, however, Murphy has the newcomer beat solid. We have been working on the “sit” command for several weeks now. While Rowdy stares longingly and occasionally lunging at the treat, I repeat “Sit, Rowdy” and push his little bottom down. Meanwhile, Murphy is sitting, shaking hands, dancing, and rolling over. Now who’s the Goofus?
The transition seems to be nearly complete. It seemd only a couple of days before Rowdy realized he was here to stay. Now when we visit Pat’s, where he lived for the first 5 months of his life, he is as vigilant as Murphy, watching me like a hawk to make sure he will not be left behind.
So lets all welcome Rowdy into the family. And…...UBob? Don’t you think he needs his own place on the “leaderboard”?
UltraMom
Brothers…....Can you tell?
Rowdy is actually a Popple
Email from Jackson:
Please do not forget about the Computer timeline issue Inbox
You (and all of Calvin’s inmates) are welcome. This may be a little punchy, as I had a 12-hr day and came home to find laundry and dishes waiting. Not as much sales as we had hoped, but I don’t think NDF has cleared yet. Jackie’s clerks (and Jackie via telephone) were a great lot of help, and mine were awesome helping get the store passed out to the whole camp when I got back to Calvin.
Kathy
And now: Calvin Kathy’s Computer Chronicles
August 15: Began having major computer issues at my store. Response time about 1 minute per keystroke. Computer repeatedly kicked off network, and must call Ernie who does some magic thing to reconnect me.
August 16-17: Computer is no better, and Jackson suggests I come in earlier to better avail myself of MIS help during working hours.
August 18: Computer connects to network 3 times as 30 seconds per connect. Ernie is no longer able to “get me back on.”
August 21: Jackson gives me the okay to, with Jackie’s permission, to travel to Windy and run Calvin’s store from there. This will be the last store until August 30, when, I am promised, a new computer will be installed in the store. After this I will have online access. Installation time is approx 1 1/2 hours. Sounds like heaven.
August 22: I go to work to pass out the store run on the 21st.
August 24: Ordering and restocking.
August 25-29: Take some time off until computer D-day.
August 30: MIS Eric, shows up, not to install new computer, but to fix my old one. It seems there is currently a problem with the Satellite, and Carlin-On-Satellite and Store-New-Computer date is pushed back to the end of September. I am at work 9 1/2 hours that day, and Eric is finally able to pinpoint the problem. I have a bad controller. A new one will be sent and will arrive next Tuesday. He walks me through installation.
August 31: I go to Windy and run my store
Sept 1: Go to work and pass out my store
Sept 5: Go to work. There is no computer controller awaiting installation. Instead I am told there has been a change of plan. Tomorrow, (Sept 6) I will get a new computer. The whole camp will be put on the Satellite system. I work on stocking and ordering.
Sept 6: Am told MIS folks are there. They will be in the store no later than 12 noon, and will take 1 1/2 hours to install my new computer. They show up in the store at 2:30. They have forgotten to bring my new computer. They install another PC, and are having trouble with the mouse. I go home and bring back an extra one I have. They are unable to set me up with a password to Novell. I have an appointment and need to leave at 4:30. I am told they do not need to get back into the store, but will have my password all configured and set up and will leave it with a camp officer. Once I have it, I can call Matt, who will set me up with a password to the AS400, or whatever they call it now.
Sept 7: I arrive early at work, and find out there is no password. My surge protector is emitting an emergency-broadcast system-like noise. I take that one off and connect an extra one I have, but unlike the other one, my extra one does not have a battery backup. It seems there was a problem syncing Carlin on the Satellite, and all computer are down statewide. I go home and come back at noon. Matt thinks he can get me on, however I am unable to sign on to Novell. Patient MIS help desk Sheila is on the phone with me for about 2 1/2 to 3 hours trying to figure out what is wrong. I am to try to log-on to another computer. Officer Lare logs off for me, but I am unable to log on to his computer either. Then HE is unable to log back onto it; very bad news. The LT lets me sit at his computer for 1/2 hour while Sheila tries some things. Nothing works. Definitely NOT heaven.
Sept 8: I go to work and try again to log on to the computer, unsuccessfully. Noone answers at the MIS help desk. I go to Windy and run my store.
Kathy
Arrive back at Calvin at 6:45. We finish up about 10 PM. I am repeatedly thanked for going, and find occasional disappointments at a ticket not run, money not there, or a wanted item out of stock. On the whole, it is fun being, once again, Hero for a Day.”
UltraMom, Storekeeper Extrordinaire
Wow, talk about above and beyond!
Hi UltraMom
Your Bobby and I finally caught up today and I got my Christmas present! Thank you very much for the lovely gift.
MJ
xxx
A Christmas present, M.J.? I don’t even remember! Would it seem terribly senile of me to ask what it was? Yes?
But of course, you are entirely welcome.
UltraMom
I love these stories. thanx aunt smore.
(It was white tea and ginger hand cream) (^_^)
Would would we do without computers? Well, we definitely wouldn’t run our Calvin Camp Prison Store. For…..........about a month now. I wonder how they did it BEFORE computers….........did they have prison stores then? Were the inmates given actual money to spend? This is something I would like to know.
in our last episode, you may recall, I was going, for the second time, to Windy Camp to run store purchases for Calvin. This I accomplished, inputting some 120 inmate orders into the computer there, as well is inputting all the merchandise shipments we had received since the last time I’d been to Windy. Jackie and her clerks were, again, very pleasant and helpful. It is an imposition to have someone else using her computer, and Windy’s computers had also been down, though only for a couple of days, but Jackie couldn’t have been more supportive. It took me a while, and my hands were aching from all the typing by the time I was finished. At the end of the “ticket” (orders) entering, it is necessary to print a summary screen that lists totals for each item sold, and a numbered list of all inmates who purchased. You do this by hitting “5” and “enter” on the computer, so we insiders call this sheet “The Five”. I know, it sounds kind of stupid, but I don’t know what else to call it. When I did “The Five”, I was astounded by the total amount of purchases. It was $1600, and I thought it should have been far higher. Then I noticed that only 55 inmate purchases were reflected in this “Five”. What happened to the rest???? They were simply gone. Vanished. Hiding in the nebulous, shadowy forests of “Five-Land.” Finally we gave up.
The next day I realized I was missing the “Five” I had printed, and had to ask Jackie to look around her store for it. She found it torn in half in the garbage can. “Could you please tape it together and fax it to me?” I desparately pleaded. She could, and did. Then I called my boss. He was able to somehow find my missing “Five”, print it, and fax it over. “By the way,” I asked him, “what do you call “The Five”? There has to be another name for that printout that sounds a little less insipid.” “No,” he said, “Everyone just calls it “The Five.” If you called it something else I probably wouldn’t know what you were talking about.”
Altogether, we passed out some $4500 worth of store merchandise the following day. I am SO glad to have Joe back. It is making my job (when I can do it) so much easier. Also, he knows everything that’s going on around camp, at least some of which he tells me. The inmates were so happy to have store that they cheered when I walked in the camp. They also made me a second card, even better than the first. About 25 of them signed it. It felt great being hero for a day.
The computer plan, the last I heard, was that I would have a working controller unit waiting for me that next Tuesday, Monday being a Holiday, when I arrived at work. Of course it wasn’t there. “Change of plan,” Jackson informed me after I placed a “what the heck is going on” phone call to him. “Tomorrow you will have a brand new computer. The whole camp will be linked to the Satellite System and you will be online.” Right.
Wednesday I was cautiously optomisitc, especially after getting a phone call from a camp officer telling me the MIS people were there. “They will be ready for the store at noon. It should only take a couple of hours.” They were in the store by 2:30. It only took about an hour and a half, but the results were disappointing, to say the least. “We forgot to bring your new computer,” Eric informed me as they lugged in a clunky old monitor, kekyboard and mouse. “We just forgot to load it in the van!” They hooked everything up and the mouse wasn’t responding. I volunteered to go home and get a new, cheap mouse I’d been storing in my desk. “Right after you left, this mouse started working,”Eric said cheerfully, but installed my mouse anyway.
The other Tech, Ryan, was tall, lanky and wore his sunglasses on the back of his head. He sat down at my keyboard and started typing. Now followed a long period of Ryan typing, waiting, frowning, and making kind of pouty fish lips with his mouth while drumming his fingertips against his cheekbones. “I’m having trouble creating a sign-on for you,” he admitted. “We’ll go work on some other stuff and get back to this later.”
I had a commitment that night to lead Weight Watchers, and I had to be out of there by 4:30. I told this to Ryan and Eric. “We don’t need to get back in the store. We will create your sign-on for Novell and leave it with the LT. Then you call Matt and put in a work order to get a sign-on for the Store System.” A work order? That sounded like time. Like waiting time. I called Matt. “No, I’ll just help you and fill out the work order later. We all know getting your store back up is a high priority.” You could have fooled me.
So, this morning I was at the camp at 7:30 am, ready to go to work. The prison computers are down statewide. Seems there was a little problem last night when they were trying to link Calvin up on the Satellite. Why am I not surprised?
Still outa Work,
UltraMom
Someday you’re going to have correctly working technology and then what will you write about? I hope that day is soon.
Was Eric as unapologetic as he sounds about forgetting to bring your new computer? Also, ,do you have any prison tattoos yet?
No to both 
Why mean lady no give us store?
Yes, but can he doff his tophat and bow, after a particularly good performance of his standup/magic routine as Beaker does?
Didn’t think so.
Well I say, it sounds as if this “Rowdy” is just a bit too intelligent for this “trick” business. Maybe you should try and enroll him in some sort of advanced learning program at your local educamart. In fact if at all possible, ship him off to boarding school, that would really be the best for everyone.
hhmmmmmmmmmmmm...puppies!!!! but can he bow and tip his hat like beaker?