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Today is a very special double birthday. May 3 is the birthday of my beloved sister, Panther. May 4 is the birthday of my beloved future daughter-in-law UltraGirl. So how can today be the birthday of both? Magic, of course. Time zone magic. In Japan, today is tomorrow, and yesterday is today. What is tomorrow in Japan? You don’t want to know. Or maybe you do…......in any case, you aren’t going to hear about it from me.
I was about 2 1/2 years old when Panther was born, and while I don’t remember much about the actual event, I sure do have a lot of memories about a happy childhood. We seldom had friends over, but with 4 siblings, we were seldom bored. Today, she is, not only my sister, but one of my closest friends. I hope you had the happiest of days, old trail partner.
Tomoko was a little older when I first met her. She had come over to Boise, ID to complete a segment of her college education at Boise State University. While there, she made connections with my rascally eldest son, and ended up staying a little longer than she first intended. Several trips back and forth across the ocean by both Bob and Tomoko, now both are settled in the same country (Japan, unfortunately for me), and still together after all these years. (how many is it?) Tomoko is cute and little, smart, talented and funny. She speaks terrific English, plays the piano like a dream and is a talented artist. She also has a great singing voice. What does she see in you, UltraSon? Sorry you have a cold; hope you had a good day anyway. We are so excited about your new house and the happy life you and UltraBob will have together.

Cheers,
UltraMom

I’ve had quite a time with the old computer today, and I DO mean OLD computer. According to my UltraSon, it is on its last legs, and will probably transform the strange, arbitrary errors and freeze-ups to total crash one of these days. I have experienced this a couple of times before, and have no doubt he is correct, but we make do with what we have, n’est-ce-pas? And since the latest crisis has been averted, I shall put my blinders back on and pretend all is well until the next time.
Today I installed a new computer mouse. The other one, a roller-ball, cordless little number, tended to get a little bogged down, and I would have to take its cute little roller ball out, clean it up, and we would usually be good to go. But lately this wasn’t enough.
UltraDad has a new computer game he loves to play. It is called Ning Po Mah Jongg, and is the classic matching solitaire game with numerous layouts and tile choices. I must admit, I quite enjoy it myself, and have totally frittered away entire potentially productive evenings mindlessly matching the blue butterflies or numbered bamboos. UltraDad works so hard and this was a way for him to unwind. But it somehow took the fun away when the mouse was jerky or unresponsive. I knew this was happening no matter where I was in the house by the sound of the mouse being thumped (hard) against the wooden stand holding the mouse pad. In the beginning, I would rush in and persuade him to let me clean the roller ball, but I soon tired of this fun game and started pretending I didn’t hear. I know, I was enabling. I should have taken a stand against this mouse abuse, but what could I do? Take the mouse away? He is larger than me and somewhat stronger. Call the SPCA? 911? I did nothing, and now I fear the mouse will never be the same again. It seems to have suffered permanent brain damage; at least that was the conclusion I came to one day when it refused to perform even the simplest clicking task. I soon found out I had to click 2,3,4 times before I got a response. Sometimes I would just go ahead and do multiple clicks, and that time it would respond on the first one, and I would be selecting random options in unasked for programs before I knew it. It seemed I had only one choice: replace it, and this time I was getting an optical mouse.
Optical mouse has no roller ball to get gummed up.. Optical mouse can operate on any surface and doesn’t need a stupid mouse pad. Optical mouse always behaves perfectly. Roller Ball mouse is Goofus. Optical mouse is Gallant.
So, it was off to Office Max. It seemed I was the only customer in the store that morning, and I received immediate help: Clerk:”May I help you find something?” Me: “I am looking for a computer mouse.”
Clerk: “Russ can help you. He will show you the mouses. Russ? Can you help her? She needs computer mouses.” Me: “Actually, Russ, I only need one mouse.”
Russ: (no trace of humor): “Here they are. Let me know if you need help.” (Disappears to far reaches of store). It was quickly apparent that if I wanted both cordless and optical that I was looking at more bananas than I wanted to spend on my ape of a computer, so I decided I could live with a cord. Then I decided I could probably find a better deal at Walmart. I was right.
Back home, I read the instructions. They were written in many languages and had lovely illustrations. It seemed I would have to shut down my computer, plug the cord into a port on the back of it and turn the computer back on. I was delighted to easily find the correct port, and when I rebooted, I was ecstatic to find that, not only did my new mouse work perfectly, but my old mouse also functioned after a fashion. How cool! But my laughter turned to tears when I tried to type an e-mail. The keyboard was dead. Not a flicker, not a pulse. Dead. I unplugged the new mouse and rebooted the computer, my favorite method of clearing out the cobwebs and making everything fresh and new. Still no keyboard. Finally, in desparation I picked up the red phone and called UltraBob on the super secret private line. A flood of strange, incomprehensible words met my ears, uttered in that familiar ulta-voice. I assume he was saying, in Japanese, “I thought I told you never to call me on this line. This had better be an emergency.” I stammered out my problem, and hoped for the best.
But I would have to mourn my dead keyboard later; UltraDad had the day off and wanted to go to town. Several hours later, the proud owners of a new weed whacker, 7 strawberry plants, 8 tomato plants and 10 bags of steer manure, we returned home, and I returned to the problem of my computer. I called the red line again, and this time Bob answered. He even spoke to me in English, an unexpected bonus. He was as puzzled as I, but made a few suggestions. “Go buy a corded keyboard to go along with your new mouse.” “Get rid of that computer and buy a Mac” “Try plugging the receiver box end (for the cordless stuff) into a different port. Crawling under the desk, I surveyed the back of my computer. Eureka, that was it! When I plugged the new mouse in, I had joggled the other cord out of its slot! I plugged it back in, rebooted yet again, and now I am golden. Whew! I can type on my keyboard and have my choice of computer rodents. Hmm, Russ, I guess I was wrong. I did need “mouses” after all.

Back in the land of the connected,
UltraMom

I got some pretty sad news today. Dan and Mary lost Sebastian last Friday. Dan and Mary are my brother and sister-in-law and live in New Jersey. They are two of the sweetest, kindest, most considerate people I know, relatives notwithstanding. Sebastian is their Cockatiel, and I have never seen a bird that had so much personality and who was so loved. When Panther and I visited them last fall, before and after our time on “The Trail” (this, of course, is how we insiders refer to The Appalachian Trail) we got to see little Sebastian in action, and there was plenty to see. He spent most of the day out of his cage. There is a stair railing that was his particular domain, and it was generously draped with towels, both on and below the railing, as birds are not easy to “house break.” Sebastian would perch on the railing or walk around on the floor underneath, but when he saw his “mom and dad”, he would fly to a shoulder to give little bird kisses and get his crest gently petted. Dan put him on my shoulder one time, but instead of bird kisses, all I got was bird poop! It seems I was not on par with his favorite people.
Sebastian liked to sit on Mary’s shoulder while she dried her hair, and when she turned the blow dryer on him, he preened and fluffed his feathers. She demonstrated this for us, and it was hilarious.
He also had very particular musical taste. When he liked the beat, he would dance, bobbing up and down. Dan tried a lot of songs to find one he liked so we could witness the dance, and soon we were all bobbing up and down like idiots trying to convince Sebastian to join in. Finally he found one he liked, and bobbed a little, but we were assured that usually his dancing was more enthusiastic.
He had a way of letting them know when it was time for bed, and would become progressively louder and more agitated until they gave up, turned out the lights and turned in.
Dan and Mary were always extremely careful when going in or out of the house, but last Friday, he somehow ducked out the open door before anyone could stop him. A three hour search and a door to door canvas had no results, nor did flyers posted about the neighborhood. Knowing how besotted I am with my little poodle Murphy, especially now that there are no kids in the house (or even in the same state), I can totally sympathize with their loss.
Tomorrow is Dan’s birthday, and Panther is with them in NJ now to help celebrate. I love you so much, my sweet brother, and hope you are able to have a good birthday. Sebastian was so fortunate to have you.

UltaMom

Little Sebastian on his towel-draped railing

Sebastian and Mary drying their “fur”